Mad Hatter: Fred Cooke

Culture
09 Jul 19

Comedian Fred Cooke gives us his bests, worsts, favourites, least favourites - and his most embarrassing moment.

Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?

Boris Johnson. I’d say he’d be chaotic craic, with crazy stories of his life experiences. But then I’d panic realising that he’ll probably become Prime Minister.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?

Owen Colgan from The Hardy Bucks. He makes me laugh instantly. Maybe it’s because I’m a towny I can relate to him. He just oozes funny.

Favourite saying?

“Sorry, can I borrow you for a second?”

Favourite record?

Office Politics by Divine Comedy. I think Neil Hannon is one of the greatest – if not the greatest – songwriter this land created.

Favourite book?

The Bend For Home by Dermot Healy. Maybe because I went to boarding school in Cavan, I can relate to its loneliness and want to escape.

Favourite film?

At the moment it’s Toy Story 4. Even though he looks all wrong, the new character Forky still works.

Favourite author?

Flann O’Brien. I love his imaginative detail in every sentence. His work is so dense with comedy, and opens up that subconscious, surreal side of my head.

Favourite actor / actress?

Jim Carrey. I love how he can go from comical to serious, and even manage to do both at the same time. He never let’s it fall. He’s always on.

Favourite musician?

At the moment it’s Ron Sexmith. I just love his voice, melody, his musical arrangements. Seriously gifted songwriter with a real sense of beautiful human honesty. Love him!

Most embarrassing moment of your life?

So many to choose from. My mom saw a sexually graphic picture on my photo album on my phone that came from a group WhatsApp chat. Couldn’t take that moment back. Horrible!

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?

The mushrooms on toast in Pantry in Dingle. Don’t know how they make them so good.

TV programme?

The Glastonbury footage on the BBC. I can’t put any more happiness onto me watching it. I still have hours upon hours of video recordings at home, from over 20 years of it. From the Manics to the Super Furry Animals. Love it!

Favourite TV personality?

Tommy Tiernan. I was so lucky to work on his show – like Jim Carrey he can go from serious to comical in a second. So few people have that gift.

Favourite item of clothing?

My camouflage hoodie. I was gigging with Dermot and Dave, and Dave bought the same one. We’re like two legends now walking around with the same hoodie.

Most desirable date?

My partner Julie Jay. We’re going to see Rocketman this week, and we’ll go for an Indian beforehand. Not mad about Indian, but I’m mad about her.

Favourite method of relaxation?

Walking with my headphones on listening to music.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?

Ideally a songwriter in a band. Could still do it yet, but don’t think I could go under my own name at this stage. Might have to be a bit more savvy like Gorillaz or Fatboy Slim.

Biggest thrill?

Getting to the semi-final of Dancing With The Stars. It’s been a long time since a Meath man got to the semi-final of anything.

Biggest disappointment?

Paying loads of money for a hotel room at a wedding that you don’t even get to stay in, as you’re still drinking. Reception ring you to find out when you’re checking out, and you haven’t even checked in yet.

Your concept of heaven?

Surrounded by your family and friends enjoying each other’s laughter.

Your concept of hell?

Paralysed on a couch with Love Island on the TV.

What would be your dying words?

Looking back, I can’t believe I didn’t win Dancing With The…

Favourite term of abuse?

My God, you’re some spanner. (Even though spanners are really useful.)

Biggest fear?

Collapsing in a foreign place like Dubai or China where I can’t explain what’s wrong with me.

Humanity’s most useful invention?

Internet. Being able to send work emails and sunbathe at the same time is a complete luxury.