Culture
19 Nov 24

John Connolly – Mad Hatter Q&A: "I had vague ambitions to be a vet, hampered slightly by Synge Street CBS refusing to teach us biology"

As he returns with Night and Day, author John Connolly answers our Mad Hatter questions...

Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
Right now, Donald Trump, with JD Vance running him a close second. Or vice versa, depending on my mood. I think Vance may be the worse of the two, actually.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
It would have to be my wife, Jennie. She’s the acceptable face of the operation.

Favourite saying?
Lately, it’s “Professionals are amateurs who finish things.”

Favourite record?
A Walk Across The Rooftops by The Blue Nile.

Favourite book?
Today, Wuthering Heights. Yesterday, Bleak House. Tomorrow, possibly The Three Musketeers.

Favourite film?
Possibly A Matter Of Life And Death, though I think I’ve seen John Carpenter’s The Thing more often than any other. Not sure what that says about me.

Favourite author?
For sheer joy, PG Wodehouse, but only the Jeeves & Wooster books.

Favourite actor / actress?
Even before he expressed an interest in the Parker novels, I was a huge admirer of Colin Farrell, who just gets better each year; and Jenny Agutter, with whom I was deeply smitten as a younger man. Her cameo vocal on Prefab Sprout’s ‘Wild Horses’ still makes me smile.

Favourite musician?
Prince, or Kate Bush and Neil Young if we’re among the living.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?
I fear that may still be in the future.

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?
Dry toast, wine, coffee. I’m a simple soul.

TV programme?
Lately, Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing, which I find soothing, and often moving. It must be middle age.

Favourite TV personality?
Can I go my least favourite instead? Piers Morgan. The word ‘oleaginous’ doesn’t begin to cover it.

Favourite item of clothing?
A lovely military-style leather jacket, bought in Edinburgh almost 20 years ago, now slightly too small for me, but with which I’m unable to part. I will lose that weight…

Most desirable date?
Even if I didn’t want to avoid a messy divorce: Jennie. Before I met Jennie, maybe Kate Bush.

Kate Bush by Barry Plummer

Favourite method of relaxation?
Time spent on the couch with the dogs watching old westerns.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
I had vague ambitions to be a vet, hampered slightly by Synge Street CBS refusing to teach us biology. Really, they could just have excised the pages relating to human reproduction and left the rest.

Biggest thrill?
Possibly having my first novel accepted for publication. It’s been kind of downhill since then.

Biggest disappointment?
Not receiving the Action Man tank I’d wanted for Christmas one year, but getting instead a very much smaller – and cheaper – tank that Action Man could have used as a rollerskate.

Your concept of heaven?
It has dogs in it, every one I’ve ever owned.

Your concept of hell?
An afterlife without dogs.

John Connolly. Credit: Mark Condren

What would be your dying words?
“Can I make one more edit?”

Greatest ambition?
Not to have to utter dying words.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
Yesterday. With what I know now, I could place some very lucrative bets.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be?
Oddly enough, not a dog. I’ve always rather liked ravens…

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
I’d ask for a second opinion. After that, pretty much what I’d have been doing anyway, but with more wine.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Bryan Ferry. Even at 69, when last I saw him live in Dublin, he could just about carry off leather pants.