Je T'Aime J'Amy

Well, with all the rebuilding work that needs to be done at Chelski, Caught In The Net reckons he should save himself a few rubles and give the gig to J’Amy Winehouse instead.

“J’Amy differs from Amy Winehouse in only one way and that’s her reputation for drinking and taking drugs,” reads the promo blurb at www.pxproductions.com/jamy. “With J’Amy you can expect a sober, punctual, polite and respectful lady.”
While J’Amy’s fooling no one with her dead badger on the head wig, the mp3 of her belting out ‘Back To Black’ is so close to the real thing that two out of three Hot Press graphic designers couldn’t tell the difference.
We’re not so sure though about AC/DShe, Alanis Moreorless, Black Stabbeth, Cheap Chick, Malice Cooper, Red Not Chilli Peppers, Stereophonies, The Cheatles, Antarctic Monkeys, Blink 18who?, Surely Bassey, Blondied, Robbing Williams and the other alleged sound and look-alikes that can be booked through www.fakebands.co.uk.
Somebody who Caught In The Net can wholeheartedly endorse is Lemmy, who has Slash, Alice Cooper, Steve Vai, Mick Jones of The Clash and pro-wrestler Triple H saying nice things about him in a new documentary, which is likely to screen in early 2009.
“Fuck Keith Richards, fuck all those dudes that survived the ‘60s flying around on Lear jets, and living up their gunslinger reputation as they fucked supermodels in the most expensive hotels in Paris,” opines Mr. Grohl on the www.lemmymovie.com teaser clip. “Y’know what Lemmy’s doing? Lemmy’s probably drinking Jack and Cokes and writing another record. More than any other musician he is the baddest motherfucker. ”
Which just leaves time for visits to starwars.wikia.com (may the Wookipedia be with you); www.castingcrowns.com (must we throw this Christian rock filth at our devil-worshipping children)?; www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQh5RERxSTs (the hotpress.com message board loves this and so do we); www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOrG1r3S6ZA (Tom Waits' genius press conference); and www.nategochannel.co.uk (previously unseen Spinal Tap Stonehenge footage).