Giving the finger

Never mind shaking their shamrocks, members of the Green Army journeying to Japan should hunt down the latest smash hit arcade game, Boong Ga Boong Ga.

The object – reports www.alltel.

net/~gregj/newdookiebooty/boonga.html – is “to try and cram a plastic finger up a virtual woman’s butt. You can select a variety of characters from ex-girlfriend to prostitute to gangster to mother-in-law or, most disturbingly, child molestor. The harder you shove, the more reaction you get from the computerised face on the screen. “The idea is that the game will be used by city dwellers to relieve their stress. At least that’s what we ascertain from the writing on the side which says: ‘What the heck! Give a shot. Have a fun (sic). Enjoy.’”

As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, one of the Boong Ga Boong Ga mascots is a giant poo.

From there it’s but a mere mouse-click to www.tshirthell.com where $16 buys you a tee emblazoned with the legend “I Fucked The Girl In Hanson.”

Also tickling the Caught In The Net funnybone this week is www.dangerhere.com, an Irish resource dedicated to The Madness Of Commentator George.

Motty? David Coleman? Mere incompetents compared to the boy Hamilton whose mixed metaphor-ing includes such pearls as: “Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of the headlights in the face of Manchester United’s attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armour in the shape of two precious away goals.”

He’s equally adept at one-liners with “He caught that with the outside of his instep”, “There’s no telling what the score will be if this goes in” and “The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related” among his finest moments.

You’d be hard pressed to find a louder, scuzzier band than Slipknot but we’ve managed it! Their 2001 American Tour has seen alien metallers GWAR taking to the stage with a shit-a-pult that, unfortunately, does exactly what it says it does on the tin. For more poop (chuckle) log (tee hee) on to www.gwar.net