- 16 Apr 01
. . . with a litre bottle of Jameson in the passenger seat. Liam Fay on the fine art of sozzled speeding.
There has been a lot of lofty talk of late about alcohol limits, milligrams and breathalysers. Even the venerable Kevin Myers has been getting his silvery ringlets in a knot on the issue. My personal position is unequivocal. It is simply impossible to drink and drive. You’re bound to spill some.
Blowing into a plastic bag for a cop at the side of the road does nothing but prove that some people will do anything they’re told to do when they’re drunk. Similarly, I’m not against the giving of urine samples, I just don’t think all that time and money should be spent analysing the blessed stuff. It’s no good the authorities telling you how much piss there was in your evening’s intake of beer after you’ve actually drunk it.
Anyway, believe me, if a citizen is capable of passing water into a test tube, then they’re sober enough to drive. Some things take real skill. And, whatever else you might say, nobody ever ruined their new patent leather shoes by falling asleep at the wheel.