Caught in the Net...This is the modern age

Being a fabulously well paid web column, there’s nothing Caught In The Net enjoys more than blowing a couple of grand on unnecessary gadgetry. Solar-powered egg whisks, amphibious barbecues, earthquake-proof lawnmowers…they’ve all felt the full weight of the CIN Platinum Am-Ex card. It’s taken a bit of doing, but after much Googling we’ve come up with the ultimate in daft concepts – the Internet Fridge.
According to the www.firebox.com blurb, “It has enough gadgetry in it to make Kit look like a Hillman Imp. Not only does the Internet Fridge keep your comestibles in order, it also allows you to connect straight to the ‘net, thanks to its built-in 56k Modem. As if that wasn’t enough to keep you firmly ensconced in the kitchen, it also shoehorns in a TV tuner, so you can catch up on Neighbours on the door-mounted 15” LCD.”
Throw in an FM radio, digital stills camera and an MP3 player and we’re sure you’ll agree it’s worth every penny of the £8,000stg asking price.

One of the few gizmos it’s lacking is FuckU-FuckMe, the “most complete remote sex solution for the internet. Powerful features let you sexually communicate with your remote partner and provide an absolutely realistic sensual experience of a real intercourse.” The most exciting technological breakthrough since the Sega Megabonk, it can be ordered online at www.fu-fme.com
As hard hearted and world weary as Caught In The Net is, we couldn’t help going, “Ah, look at their cute ickle faces!”, when we logged on to www.doggles.com
“Does your dog ride with his head out of the car window?” asks the canine Specsavers. “Run through bush? Hang out on the beach or ski resorts? Doggles keep out wind and debris with no gaps for stray light or foreign objects.”

They may be musical leaches who are sucking the lifeblood out of rock ‘n’ roll, but the 100% unofficial www.snow-patrol.co.uk website does have a dash fine collection of MP3s. Which, Beyoncé fans, include the grunge demolition of ‘Crazy In Love’ that Gary Lightbody & Co. recorded for Zane Lowe’s BBC Radio 1 show.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.dailydose.com (superb drug resource); www.cinesex.ch/sites/girls/paltrow.html (we’re jealous Chris); and www.custard.b3ta.com/bukkcke (scary Japanese cut n paste job).b