Caught In The Net: Your elf is everything

Bastards! Caught In The Net nipped out for a quick Lamb Balti the other day, only to discover upon our return that we’d been turned into objects of office ridicule by the Hot Press Art Dept. who’d be well-advised to steer clear of dark alleyways this Christmas.

Turns out these no social life computer monkeys had discovered www.elfyourself.com, an upload photo jobbie, which some people apparently find uproariously funny, and stuck us on it. Wankers!
If your bah hambuggery – there’s a crude joke in there somewhere – extends to not wanting to spend until Easter hoovering pine needles out of your shagpile, may we recommend the £6.99 USB Desktop Christmas Tree orderable from www.gadgetshop.com/Gadgets/TechnoGadgets/USB_Gadgets/PRDOVR~274084/USB+Christmas+Tree.jsp.
Sticking with matters hi-tech, and you can discover an alternative use for your iPod at www.ohmibod.com/ohmibod.html, home of the world’s first MP3-powered vibrator.
“Listening to your favourite sexy music and feeling the corresponding vibes quickly transports you to a place where music, mind and body truly ‘come’ together,” gushes, moans and screams in ecstasy the promotional blurb.
On a related matter, it’s nice to see the British Pregnancy Advisory Council getting festive with their advertising and incurring the wrath of our old pals SPUC who sadly aren’t just for Christmas. Read about the furor at www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/nov/08112803.html.
.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to cellfish.com/video/290979/Run-DMC---Christmas-in-Hollis (old skool holiday fun); www.toonedin.com/movies/WhiteTrashXmas.html (bet they didn’t vote for Obama); media.putfile.com/Wizards-of-Winter-Christmas-Lights (the ultimate in neighbourly one-upmanship); and www.blogissues.com/2007/12/13/how-does-the-rest-of-the-world-celebrate-some-strange-christmas-traditions (Greenlanders invent something that tastes even worse than Brussels Sprouts).