Caught in the net: Metalocalypse now

Two weeks ago it was Triumph The Comedy Insult Dog, now it’s the turn of Nathan Explosion, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, Toki Wartooth, Pickles and William Murderface to be introduced to the Caught In The Net masses.
Collectively they are Dethlok, the devil-horn saluters who enjoy an unprecedented level of popularity, ranking just above Belgium as the twelfth largest economy in the world. When the American/Swedish – sound familiar? – rockers endorse a product or service, it promptly drives the competition out of business.
If you’re wondering why you haven’t seen them on the same bill as Torsofuck, Sublime Cadaveric Decomposition and Squash Bowels – see metalsucks.com, the “Perez Hilton of death metal”, for more wonderfully poor taste band names – it’s because Dethlok are actually the animated stars of Metalocalypse, the cult American show which has persuaded HP cover stars James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett to appear in five of its episodes.
If you thought nothing could out-parody Spinal Tap, visit adultswim.com/shows/metalocalypse/index.html and diefordethklok.org and prepare to have your mind changed.
Staying with music and this fortnight sees the release of an eponymous compilation from Jobriath, the gay American singer who in the ‘70s was heralded as the future of glam but, instead of giving David Bowie and Marc Bolan a run for their eyeliner, contracted HIV and ended up committing suicide. Log on to like.com/artist/Jobriath, championstudios.net/jobriath/index.html and youtube.com/watch?v=HXks3Xjydh0 to discover why Morrissey, Neil Tennant and Siouxsie Sioux are all bonkers fans.
As if John McCain trouncing Barack Obama in the polls wasn’t depressing enough, stealingamericathemovie.org presents the most conclusive proof yet that Al Gore and John Kerry were both diddled out of the White House. Hitting the big screen this week in America, the documentary film has already been ripped to shreds by Fox TV’s Bill O’Reilly, which means it must be true.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to
crapfromthepast.com (self-deprecating but absolutely brilliant music site); youtube.com/watch?v=cHJJQ0zNNOM (seriously creepy robot dog); waronterrorboardgame.com (as recommended by Father Ted creator Graham Linehan); and engrish.com (our favourite site just keeps on giving).