Caught in the ’net

CYBERSPACE ODYSSEY

David Bowie has always prided himself on having a considerable presence on the Internet – in the past, he has flogged his paintings and artworks through the website medium, and two years ago he became the first artist to release a single (‘Telling Lies’) available exclusively through the Internet. It should come as no surprise, then, to learn that on September 1st of this year The Thin White Duke will be launching BowieNet, the first ever artist-created Internet Service Provider.

With its address at http://www.davidbowie.com, the facility will provide a high-speed Internet service – initially through North America only, but Bowie aims to have it running worldwide by the end of 1998. It’ll give you the usual range of services associated with service-providers: access to news sports, finance and entertainment sites located all over the globe.

Logging on to BowieNet will give you a customisable homepage, an e-mail address and access to chat-rooms, as well as 5MB of space and the latest version of Internet Explorer. All a far cry from deciding what single to release first off Diamond Dogs, isn’t it, Dave?

http://www.davidbowie.com/

HOW TO START YOUR OWN COUNTRY

IRISH FOOTBALL fans may all be terrified at the prospect of facing mighty Macedonia and Malta in the Euro 2000 qualifying competition, but if the fragmentation of countries continues unabated, then Mick McCarthy’s boys may soon be facing teams who make the mysterious Macedonians look on a par with Germany and Russia.

Micronations – as they’re technically known – are countries so small that they barely exist at all. We’re not even talking about bona fide nation-states such as Andorra, San Marino and Liechtenstein; these places are mostly the size of your average back garden.

As the Micronations page explains, they are “countries which have been declared independent by (usually eccentric) individuals or small groups, but unlike other such attempts, fail to achieve widespread diplomatic recognition. Many have only one inhabitant; others are larger. Most seem to consist of a single Grand Poobah, with or without a coterie of petits Poobahs. Talossa, however, counts over 50 citizens who have been part of its wild multiparty political structure. And there are reportedly 20,000 people with Hutt River citizenship – more than several members of the UN!”

Typically in cases of this sort, the micronation founders declare dominion over land that actually exists – frequently tiny and isolated islands, sometimes under several feet of water. Like other nations, these places have proclaimed declarations of independence, adopted constitutions, sought diplomatic recognition, sent out envoys extraordinary and ministers plenipotentiary, displayed coats-of-arms, and issued stamps, passports and currency.

Erwin S Strauss’ 1984 book, How To Start Your Own Country, is widely regarded as the best tome on the micronations “movement”. It contains detailed descriptions of over a hundred such states, with photographs of their rulers, passports, coins, paper money and flags. Available from Ioompanics Unlimited (PO Box 1197, Port Townshend, WA 98368, USA), it can be ordered for $12.95.

For more information on the curious phenomenon of the micronations, inching towards independence in a clumsily compelling manner, go to

http://www.execpc.com/~talossa/patsilor.html

One South American micro-state, the Republic of Porto Claro, even has its own homepage. “Our country started with the foundation of São Herculano do Porto Claro, our capital, and in 1900 we won our independence. The status of micronation arrived in 1992 and the international recognition in 1996.

“Porto Claro is NOT A GAME! We are a Republic Presidencialist (sic) country and one of the oldest micronations of the world. We are organized, democratic, active and serious, having more than 70 citizens and many newspapers and companies.”

Still don’t fancy them against Brazil in the Copa America preliminaries, though.

http://www.portoclaro.org/english.htm

THE DEMI MONDE

To put it mildly, there are many who wonder what the precise point of the Demi Moore phenomenon actually is. Let’s face it, she’s not much of a sex symbol, her interviews aren’t exactly in the Lee Marvin league as regards juicy column inches, and by common consensus she couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper bag. So what, exactly, is the indefinable je ne sais quoi that has propelled her to the top of the money tree in Hollywood?

Whatever it is, it has also resulted in a plethora of websites dedicated to the woman. Chief among them is a site which specialises in gossip about her private life with her recently estranged husband Bruce Willis. Most of the stories on it are far too libellous to print, or even allude to, but we can reveal that it contains stuff about Demi’s “special relationship with FERGIE!!!” Whether the Fergie in question is the Duchess of York or Manchester United’s manager, we cannot say.

http://www.joking.com/demi.html