Caught In The Net

Neighbours playing their music too loud? Former lover telling everybody you’re useless in the sack? Grumpy Scottish knight of the realm making your football team look embarrassingly third-rate?

If you want to fix some bastard good and proper, a visit to www.interestingprojects.com will you hook you up, no questions asked, with the beardy Kiwi bloke who’s built the world’s first low-cost cruise missile.

“I won’t charge you millions of dollars like the big boys might,” promises master munitions maker Bruce Simpson. “I won’t question your politics or religious beliefs. I simply ask that you provide me with travel to your location plus safe, warm, comfortable accommodation for the duration of the project, and employ me at an agreed rate for my services.

“Whether you’re a very small nation looking to extend its military capabilities while perhaps creating a highly profitable export industry, or an entrepreneur seeking to enter the massive market of low-cost UAVs, RPVs and other pilotless vehicles, or whether you just want a single missile to mount on your SUV as a roof ornament – I’m your man.”?Astonishingly, it’s not a spoof. Sacked from his highly-paid New Zealand government research job for publicising his creation, Simpson has gone freelance with anyone willing to cough up $20,000 plus expenses able to avail of his services.

If you like your plastic small, mould-injected and interlocking, look no further than Grand Theft Lego. As in the real pixilated version, there are loads of crashes, explosions and appalling ‘80s music courtesy of A Flock Of Seagulls.

All of which puts us in mind of the Lego Street Preachers site, which although no longer updated is still archived at www.lsp.twindx.com/photos/lsp.html

A bored graphic designer’s tribute to the Manics, our fave bit is the spoof Legoly Bible album sleeve pictured above.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.supperwiththestars.com (Roger DeCourcey & Nookie The Bear at your fondue party for a grand); www.thedomechair.com (Sitting comfortably? Now we’ll begin!); and www.porn-bread.com (Vagina Danish, anyone?).