Castlebar dong contest

The fans of arsehole of nowhere towns that we are, Caught In The Net was thrilled by the news that there’s a www.castlebar.com What could be more exciting than a virtual visit to the jewel in Mayo’s crown?

Well, how about the S&M, fetish and fantasy role play that’s to be found on this decidedly non-Bord Failte approved site? Having confirmed that, yes, I am over 21, you’re introduced to the likes of Madame Quistina and her Evil Mommy’s Lair.

“A place to safely explore the darkness within”, the emporium offers spanking & paddling, caning & whipping, human equine/pony training, bondage & mummification, terrorist scenes, vampire seductions and, well, whatever you’re having yourself, Vicar.

Interestingly, if you ‘fess up to being under age, you’re redirected to the University of Oklahoma’s Poultry Breeds resource.

We’ve come across some unsavory stuff on the net – see above – but nothing that makes you want to barf quite as much as www.pixyland.org.peterpan

“I’m 47 and started this site so that Tinkerbell would have an easier time finding me,” explains webmaster Randy Costan. “Although Peter Pan is definitely a boy, to me this character is perfectly asexual, and in his eternal childhood rejects the idea of growing up and leaving this behind. Unfortunately this society has deified sexuality and has made it into a god. This is why little girls are praised for interest in ‘boyish’ activities, but boys who do the opposite are seldom tolerated.”

This is the cue for some deeply concerning photos of Mr. Costan dressed as his fairytale hero.

You may have thought that blowing your nose was enough but, nope, for the perfect proboscis you need a Nori Nasal Passage Cleaner.

“Place half a teaspoon full of sea salt into the Nori and fill the container with water,” read the instructions at www2.active.ch./ %7Egerstei/main.en.html “While leaning over a sink, tilt your head sideways and slightly insert the spout into one nostril. The salt water will flow through the nasal passage and come out the other nostril.”

As you’ll see from the picture elsewhere on this page, it’s not a pretty site.

The opposite is true of www.stinaonline.com, the helium-voiced Swede’s official resource, which combines stunning graphics with all manner of MP3 weirdness.

Finally, details of why Britney Spears is seriously hackered off this week can be found at http://www. internetnews.com/dev-news/article/0,,10_900811,00.html