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Keef, Snoop and Jim Morrison: the missing link
They are three great icons of contemporary culture. But in fact Keef Richards, Snoop Dogg and Jim Morrison have a lot more in common than that…
Sam Snort, 26 Apr 2007
Samuel J. Snort was flicking through a copy of NME [England] the other week, when a quote from his old buddy Keith Richards literally knocked the world’s greatest undying rock columnist to the floor (for obvious reasons – I was reading it in Eason’s).
It was just about to put it back on the rack when I saw the quote: asked for three things that he’d guarantee never to do again, Keef replied heroin, climbing coconut trees and – this was the bit that knocked me over – being trepanned.
Now, I should point out to less educated readers that trepanning isn’t the kind of strange but delicious sexual favour three experienced groupies might perform on a rock star of Keef’s renown. That’s called a three-in-one.
Anyway, I’ll let the bould Keef tell you exactly what trepanning is, in his own words...
“I wouldn’t want to do that again,” Keef said. “It’s having your fucking skull cut open. It’s what I had to go through. Yes, I’ve been trepanned. That’s quite an interesting experience, especially for my brain surgeon, who saw my thoughts flying around in my brain. I’ve got pictures of it. They cut my head, brain, skull open, went in and pulled out the crap, and put some of it back in again.”
While I am firmly of the view that Keef is a genius and a pioneer to boot, who is only a small bit behind Sam in the realm of rampant sexual excess and general rock ’n’ roll badness, I think I’ll pass on this particular experience. I’m with Tom Waits – I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
It was only after I’d got it on with Rosita, my svelte Filipino maid, and the three friends she was having around for an early summer barbeque (this is called a four-in-one and not forepanning, as some people seem to think), that I remembered the thing about Keef mixing his late father’s ashes with cocaine and snorting them.
“He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow,” the world’s greatest rock guitarist had told reporter Mark Beaumont.