The Sex O'Clock News

NO NIPPLES PLEASE!
Summer temptations may be curbed if residents of Spain’s Costa Blanca get their way. A campaign is underway to ban topless bathing on the beach. The petition, which has attracted over 10,000 signatures also want skimpy bottoms, such as thongs, outlawed. Maribel Martinez of the Family Beaches Group says they want at least some beaches set aside for families so that young children are not exposed to too much naked flesh. “As things stand at the moment, children are having to see things they are yet to be taught by their families,” she noted.

WEB
You may not see natural breasts in Costa Blanca this summer, but you could try God’s Girls instead. Since the success of Suicide Girls, the number of alt-models posing nude on the internet has gone exponential, but God’s Girls is one of the best sites. If you like your women enhanced by tattoos and piercings instead of silicone, there’s plenty to look at with 400 new high resolution photos added every day. The photography aims at high fashion, fetish, erotic and fine art styles and for the most part, the standard is pretty high. God’s Girls also have some videos that are available for downloading onto your iPod. Membership costs $14 per month or $70 for a year. See www.godsgirls.com.

SEXTON’S MISCELLANY
SUMMER SEX SURVIVAL GUIDE
Yep, it’s that time of year again. Soon we’ll be reading endless reports about how young Irish people get up to all sorts of Bacchanalian bad behaviour on the various beach resorts around the Med. But what should you do to ensure you have a sexy summer? Here’s some handy tips.

• Sex on the beach sounds fantastic but it can be tricky. Sand in uncomfortable places is unpleasant but if it gets on the condom, don’t under any circumstances proceed. Firstly it’s likely to tear tiny holes in your prophylactic; secondly it’ll likely be painful. Sex on the beach leaning against a handy rock is much easier.
• Protection, protection, protection. Just because you’re on holiday, that’s no reason to give sensible behaviour a rest. Always carry at least 3 condoms – one for you and a couple for your mates, just in case.
• Here’s a nasty one, but important. If you get sick or have diarrhoea from the food, your contraceptive pill’s effectiveness is likely to be reduced. Drug awareness activists also believe that some illegal substances may affect the efficacy of your pill, so use condoms even if you are in a monogamous relationship.
• Protection Part 2. Don’t forget the sunscreen. Burnt bottoms, or worse, burnt nipples, make sex painful. Don’t forget to cover up when necessary and keep reapplying your lotion. Better yet, find someone else to do it for you…
• Girls need to look after one another. He may look like an Adonis, but going home with a stranger and his four drunken mates is very unwise. If you meet someone you like, take him back to your place or arrange to meet the next day when you are sober. Sort out a system of communication with your friends beforehand, if one or more of you meets someone.
• Don’t leave your drinks unattended. I’ve had my drink spiked twice over the years and I’m always careful. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you. It’s happened to a male friend of mine as well, so guys this warning is also for you.
• Both guys and girls should pack lube. Many girls find that salt water or chlorinated swimming pools interfere with their natural lubrication.

THIS ISSUE’S TOP SEX TIP:
USE YOUR IMAGINATION
There are loads and loads of sex toys available online and in sex shops, but you don’t need to spend a small fortune to introduce something a little different into the bedroom. Many household items can double as erotic toys if you use your imagination.
Consider these everyday items: rubber gloves, cling film, hairbrush, candles, olive or baby oil, spatula, watercolour paints and scarves.
The uses to which some of these things can be put are obvious. For example, scarves make a decent, and softer, alternative to handcuffs or can be used as a blindfold. Spatulas and the back of a hairbrush make good paddles. But think again. Running the bristles of a brush gently down a lover’s back offers a sensual sensation.
Try covering parts of your lover’s body in cling film, then add oil and rub. This works best on hair-free body parts. Alternatively drip hot wax onto the cling film. Start at a good distance at first. You don’t want to burn them.
Use waterpaints to unleash your creative potential. Messy, but fun.
Rubbing oil onto someone’s body using the rubber gloves (a nice new pair please!) is a weird, but oddly erotic sensation.
These are just some ideas (that I’ve tried!). Have a look around the house. You’re sure to find something unexpected that you didn’t consider before.