The Sex O'Clock News

Toy Boys the Latest Hot Commodity as Demand Soars
The Sunday Times reports that the number of British women marrying men at least eight years younger has doubled in the last two decades. According to the experts, feminism and career women’s greater spending power has freed women to follow their sexual desires. Celebrities such as Madonna, who is almost 10 years older than her husband Guy Ritchie, have made marrying a younger man more acceptable.
Lying, Cheating and the Internet
The Internet has taken cheating to a whole new level. American women are taking revenge on unfaithful lovers by posting their details on-line. The Don’tDateHimGirl.com website is a rogues’ gallery of America’s, er, love rats. Scorned women post the picture, name, address as well as the list of love crimes committed by their exes to warn others of their men’s misdeeds. Unsurprisingly, the site has attracted some anger from the named and shamed men because although they are identified, their accusers can remain anonymous. If the gender roles were to be reversed, society would collapse overnight.
Clearly, habitual cheats are now in greater need than ever of convincing cover stories along the lines of 'I'm just having dinner with Anne.' Fakealibi.co.uk could be the answer, as the website will provide the aspiring philanderer with a background story, leaving him or her free to carry on scorching-hot extra-marital activities unfettered. The service includes arranging fictitious business meetings and phoning suspicious spouses to confirm appointments. At around e500 for an alibi, the service doesn’t come cheap, but then again, it’s less expensive and far less traumatic than a divorce.
Clothes
Excuse me while I slip into something a little sexier…
Fans of latex and fetish gear should check out Danish company, No Pain No Gain. NPNG is a small company specialising in gorgeous latex and rubber clothes. The clothes are sexy and stylish, with a nod to glamour. While most of their collection is aimed at women, NPNG do have a little something for the boys too. There isn’t a huge range, but most of what they have is far superior to much of the gear available in sex shops. NPNG offer a ready-to-wear and a made-to-measure service. Whew! See www.npng.net.
Sexton’s Miscellany
Men Behaving Badly
Manners and consideration are important during sex. Sometimes our lovers fall short of the ideal. Here are some of the most common mistakes men make during sex. Should all of these be strictly verboten? Let’s know what you think!
1. Not making an effort
2. Poor personal hygiene or not shaving
3. Bragging about your sexual skills
4. Not enough kissing and foreplay before sex
5. Giving hickeys
6. Ignoring the other parts of her body
7. Nudging her head down for oral sex
8. Using your hands to move her head up and down during a blow job
9. Thrusting while she gives you oral sex
10. Not warning her when you are about to cum during oral sex
11. Not kissing after oral sex
12. Not offering to return sexual favours
13. Squeezing her breasts too hard
14. Begging
15. Impatience
16. Attacking the clitoris or not paying enough attention to it
17. Not paying attention to her needs
18. Mentioning past, present or potential lovers, especially hers
19. Attempting anal sex and pretending it was an accident
20. Taking direction too personally
21. Being distracted by the football
22. Cumming too soon or taking too long to orgasm
23. Asking their partners if they’ve orgasmed yet
24. Asking whether it was good
25. Not snuggling, rushing to the shower or leaving immediately after sex
Of course, it’s not only blokes who make the occasional bedroom faux pas. Next issue’s column will list the ladies’ lapses.
Source: C. Michael Smith (www.clitical.com)