The Sex O'Clock News

Italian beauty too sexy to teach religion
There is just no pleasing some men! Apparently, being attractive and sexy can get you fired – if you happen to work for the Roman Catholic Church, that is. Italian teacher, Caterina Bonci caused a minor media frenzy in Italy recently when she claimed she was fired after 14 years for being “too sexy” to teach teenage boys religion. The Church claims she was fired because she is divorced, but Bonci, who separated in 1995 and divorced in 2000, claims the Church was aware of this and it had not been an issue in previous years. Now, with national television talk shows queuing up to interview her, the Italian teacher has become a minor celebrity. However, Bonci claims she only wants her job back.
UK to introduce tough new porn laws
The British government is set to consider tough new laws to restrict access to violent Internet porn. The proposals would create a new offence for possessing pornography deemed violent or abusive. According to the UK’s Home Office Minister, Paul Goggins, possession of the banned material could be punishable by up to three years in prison. Government agencies and the Metropolitan police have welcomed the proposals, but free speech agencies such as Internet Freedom have expressed reservations.
According to a survey by the London School of Economics, eight out of ten parents are in favour of tougher laws against Internet porn. The survey also found that 41% of parents check up on the sites their children visit, but 18% said they did not know how to help their children use the Internet safely.
Stimulation for Ears and Eyes
Toys
Girls can’t have all the fun. The experts at Sex Toy Playground (www.erotica-readers.com/ERA/ST) have voted Fleshlight the best toy for boys. The Fleshlight is a “pocket vagina” but looks like a flashlight. Remove the top to reveal a silicone sleeve embedded into a plastic canister that warms quickly to the touch, and is easy to clean. The Fleshlight is available online from www.fleshlightuk.com from £29.47 or from LoveHoney.ie for €43.69.
But if plastic fantastic isn’t your thing, Stroke 29 may well be. Stroke 29 is a male masturbation cream that warms up from repetitive stroking. According to the manufacturers, the texture transforms around the 29th stroke (assuming you get that far) to stimulate the effect of aroused human tissue. Well, I never… Available from LoveHoney.ie for €20.47 for 6oz.
Movies
Sex in the movies, regular movies that is, not adult ones, is rarely realistic; indeed, sometimes it's downright hilarious. Entertainment Weekly have compiled a list of the most embarrassing – or just plain funny – sex scenes of all time. So, for your viewing pleasure, here’s the list in reverse order:
10. The Tall Guy (1989). Sex scene between Jeff Goldblum and Emma Thompson (yuk!)
9. National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978). Sex scene between Tom Hulce and Sarah Holcomb
8. The Ice Storm (1997). Sex scene between Christina Ricci and Elijah Wood
7. Boomerang (1992). Sex scene between Eddie Murphy and Eartha Kitt
6. Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001). Sex scene between Renée Zellweger and Hugh Grant.
5. Bananas (1971). Sex scene between Woody Allen and Louise Lasser
4. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999). Sex scene between Rob Schneider and Arija Banks
3. Old School (2003). Sex scene between Luke Wilson and Juliette Lewis
2. Mash (1970). Sex scene between Robert Duvall and Sally Kellerman
1. The Crying Game (1992). Sex scene between Stephen Rea and Jaye Davidson.
Full details can be read on www.ew.com.
This issue's top sex tip: Sharing the pleasure
Is it just me? Or do other people find that a 69 is just not as good as you’d hope? The pleasure of the one just distracts me from the pleasure of the other, leaving me feeling a little hard done by. (Can you run that one by us again – Ed) Furthermore, one of my few inhibitions is that I am not all that comfortable with anyone having that close-up a view of my admittedly irresistible arse!
I was discussing this with a friend and colleague, who recommended a game she calls “Two-way torture”. Lie head to tail and give each other head on an alternating basis.
The point is not to make each other orgasm, at least not initially. The trick is to make your partner moan with pleasure, then swap over. After the first few rounds, you need to make them moan twice, and then three times before it’s your turn. If neither of you are expressive in your pleasure, guesstimate 30 seconds, 45 seconds, one minute and so on.
Because of the interrupted nature of the game, you can keep this up for ages if you wish, making it perfect foreplay. Alternatively, you can relent and bring each other to orgasm. Either way, everyone’s a winner.