The Sex O'Clock News

Fakers beware!
Women have been known to fake an orgasm or two. But with a handy bedside brain scanner, the game is up. Researchers in the Netherlands have used scans to study how the brain reacts during orgasm. When a woman orgasms, the cortex and the areas of the brain that respond to fear and emotion de-activate. As you’d suspect, this does not happen during a fake. The results appear conclusive regarding female orgasm, but are less so with men. The researchers found that men show less de-activation when they are sexually stimulated. Which may just go to prove what I have always believed – under the right circumstances, women get far more enjoyment from sex than men.

Situations Vacant - Sex Toy Testers Required
If you happen to visit Eastern Europe this summer you might want to do your bit for science. Nesa Proka, a Serbian inventor, has developed a sex machine for women and is appealing to Westerners to test-drive his device. According to him, his toy is the “ultimate sex aid” but he has been unable to find enough Serbian women willing to give it a go. The machine has a seven and a half inch artificial penis which can make up to 180 moves in a minute. A man can only manage that intensity of movement for about five seconds. It may turn out to be too good though. One woman told reporters that “If I had a machine like that at home I would never go outside the front door.”

Don’t come a-Knockin’ when the Love Shack’s a-Rocking
According to German newspapers, MPs have proposed to erect love shacks for the 2006 World Cup. This will allow prostitutes to service football fans in private. As thousands of sex workers are expected to congregate at World Cup venues, politicians are afraid that they will offer their services in public. Drive-in brothels in cities such as Cologne have been a huge success in cleaning up Germany’s streets.

Stimulation for Ears and Eyes
Books
The Love Guide: Sex Talk and the Irish by Dr Angela Brokmann has a place of honour on my bedside table this week. Based on a nationwide survey of Irish attitudes and experiences, The Love Guide has the definitive answers to what we really do, think and feel. The book covers all the basics from flirting to fetishism and has a handy question and answer section at the end of each chapter. The Love Guide is available from all good bookstores and is priced at ¤16.99.

Movies
Men keen on introducing their womenfolk to porn are well advised to begin with movies that consider the female sexual experience. Veteran erotica director, Candida Royalle, may be your answer. Royalle’s films are sex positive and focus on women’s satisfaction. A former porn star, Royalle believes that women rejected adult entertainment because their needs and fantasies are ignored. Royalle’s films are softer than most porn, again making them a good introduction for beginners. Certain titles are available on DVD from Amazon UK for between £8 - £20. Failing that try BlueDoor.com for DVDs and videos of her back catalogue.

Sexton’s Miscellany
So You Think You Know it All? Even More Sex Facts
In my unending pursuit to turn you all into sex trivia junkies, here’s some more interesting sex facts for your education and elucidation.
· Ancient Best-seller: The word “pornography” comes from Greek and means “the writings of prostitutes”.
· When in Need: Dildos were made out of animal horns, gold, silver ivory and glass in ancient Greece and Rome.
· Beep, Beep! Bang: Cars horns are honked for newly wed couples because, according to superstition, this insures great wedding night sex.
· Cereal Wankers: Dr. Kellogg, he of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, was no fan of masturbation. He developed his famous breakfast cereal in the hope that it would help reduce ‘self-abuse’. Hello?
· Cruel and Unusual Punishment. In medieval France, unfaithful wives were made to chase a chicken through town.
· Tasty, very tasty. The ancient Babylonians believed that eating the heart of a male partridge would cure impotence.

This Issue's’s Top Sex Tip
Oral Sex: The Big Build Up
Oral sex may be the quickest route to getting your partner off, but it’s often sexier to take your time before getting the head down. There are a great many nerve endings in the entire groin area, lower stomach and buttocks, so spend time teasing these before going on to the main event.

On Women: Light, gentle licks across the outer vagina are a real turn-on. Tease the outer lips, sucking and licking very gently. Run your tongue across the entire area, both lengthways and perpendicular to the clitoris, just missing it or touching it briefly. Flick your tongue slowly on the clitoris. Chances are she’ll beg for more, but make her wait! Don’t forget to pay attention to the inner leg and bum too. For extra sensation, blindfold your partner or get her to close her eyes.

On Men: Lick and suck the area around the penis. Spend time lavishing attention on the area where the groin meets the leg, the scrotum, the lower stomach and the perineum – the area between the balls and the anus. Suck lightly on the head and gently run your tongue or nipple along the length of the shaft. Remember men often prefer a firmer touch than women, so experiment until you get the right response.