The Sex O'Clock News

No nipples please, we’re American
A US television network, PBS, is editing the BBC’s film, Dirty War, to avoid showing a full frontal of a naked woman. Although the context is not sexual – the woman is shown being scrubbed down after a fictional chemical attack – the channel has decided not to risk including the scene. Since CBS was sued for $500,000.00 over the Janet Jackson ‘Nipplegate’ scandal, many US networks are increasingly nervous about screening nudity.

Mother kills daughter for losing her virginity
In a case that has shocked America, a mother forced bleach down her daughter’s throat and sat on her until she died after the 12 year-old admitted to her mother that she was no longer a virgin. Tunisia Archie, 31, told police she had been “disturbed” by her daughter’s confession. The victim’s 9 year-old brother was made to stand in the corner and watch his sister’s murder. Archie threatened to kill the boy if he cried. Archie is charged with capital murder and could face the death sentence if convicted.

Stimulation for Ears and Eyes

Books
I have mentioned Belle de Jour’s web blog in this column before. Now the famous on-line diary has been published as a book, The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl. Reaction to the booked has been extremely mixed with reviewers either raving or slating the anonymous author’s diary. Decide for yourself. Priced at £9.09 from www.amazon.co.uk.

Web

Weird sex toys
The good people who work in Patent Offices around the world get to see the human mind at its most creatively bizarre every now and again. The US Patent Office has some strange sex toys on file, none of which have yet made it to the production line. Eager entrepreneurs take note:

Flavoured Semen Supplement
Does exactly what it says on the tin – a dietary supplement to improve the taste of spunk. Could be onto a winner there!

Hydro-therapeutic Stimulator
For the ladies, a spa with a directional jet of water aimed at the clitoris. Redundant. That’s what showerheads are for.

Virginity Simulating Condom
Exploding fake blood. Absolutely disgusting. See www.pervscan.com and www.fleshbot.com for more.

Big Man’s Package Enhancer
Strangely, someone decided that the Big Man’s Package Enhancer was a good idea. Basically a Wonderbra for the male member, this device promises extra ‘lift’ and a ‘more impressive presentation’ for your genitalia. Available for $18.95 from www.somethingsexyplanet.com. But remember, small can be beautiful, but fake is always fake (shit, is that what The Frames were singing about?).

This week's top sex tip: Come As You Are
Although I am a fan of the marathon sex session, there is something completely satisfying about a great quicky, especially if you are doing it someplace you really shouldn’t.
Many women need around 20 minutes of stimulation to climax. However, with a quicky this is not an option. The trick is to get your partner horny enough before any action starts and then to use the right position.
This one always works for me:
You’ll need a surface of some kind, such as a counter or desk. The woman sits on the surface with her partner standing in front of her. Her legs should be wrapped around him, pulling him inside of her.
I find this works best if the surface is high enough so that the man’s pelvis is slightly higher than the woman’s. That way you get deep penetration and clitoral stimulation, both of which are necessary for women to come in a quicky situation.
If you can only find a low surface, this position can be adapted by having the man kneel. But unless he’s got something comfortable to kneel on – or flabby knees – this can be painful. Alternatively, if there is a wall to lean back against, the woman can squat, angling her pelvis outward and upwards. Go on, have a bash when the boss isn’t looking!