The Sex O'Clock News

Popcorn and Smut at the Cinema
The Irish film censor, John Kelleher, has passed the Michael Winterbottom’s sexually explicit film 9 Songs uncut. The film has been described as the most sexually graphic ever passed here. When the film debuted at this year’s Cannes Film Festival it generated much media interest due its explicit content. The film includes a number of scenes of real sexual activity, including close-ups of penetration, oral sex and ejaculation. Dialogue is kept to a minimum, as Winterbottom concentrates on the intimacy and detail of the sexual relationship between the two protagonists. But is it any good? We’ll have to wait a while to find out, as – at the time of writing – no Irish release date had been set.

The Flaming Passion of Perversity
A farmer’s family in Cornwell have been terrified by the antics of a very odd pervert, David Truscott, who got his thrills by smearing manure on his body and setting outbuildings alight. Truscott prowled Woodbury House Farm at night in red shiny shorts and latex gloves. In a seven-month reign of, ahem, terroir, Truscott set fire to a barn, an animal head and a timber shed. Things came to a climax earlier this month when the family found imprints of Truscott’s buttocks in the manure, surrounded by tissues. Magistrates have referred the case to Truro Crown court for sentencing within the next few weeks.

Stimulation for Ears and Eyes

Toys
Bored with the Jessica Rabbit? The Eroscillator 2 is a unique device that oscillates back and forth, and had the added bonus of being the only sex toy recommended by famous TV sex therapist, Dr. Ruth. The Eroscillator comes with two double-sided heads and has three levels of intensity, oscillating up to 3,600 times per minute. It’s a bit on the pricey side though – it can be yours for €129.59 from www.lovehoney.ie

Books
Want sex tips plus an interesting read? How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson has just been released and is causing quite a stir. Jameson, who is the current queen of the adult entertainment industry, offers us the benefit of her experiences both on and off camera, as well as charting her rise to from an under-age Las Vegas stripper to the CEO of her own porn empire. HTMLLAPS can be ordered from Eason’s at www.buy4now.ie (Û23.83). Oh, and you join the lovely Jenna’s subscription website at www.clubjenna.com.

Web
You really have to check out Alexander the Poet (pictured). Alexander likes to shave his chest hair into the shape of a heart, wear tight black leather pants and listen to Christina Aguilera. In addition to all that, Alexander writes amusing, bawdy poetry. These meisterworks are available as MP3s for those too lazy to read – and very amusing they are too. Here’s an example of one of his haikus, called Aria.
“I see Aria
So sexy and muscular
That bitch can break me”
In addition to the poetry, there are galleries featuring Alexander in a variety of poses. They are more funny than sexy, but well worth a look nonetheless. See www.alexanderthepoet.com.

This ISSUE’s Top Sex Tip: Latex Appeal
Making your own sexy outfits with liquid latex is a great way to surprise your partner and have fun together. Liquid latex comes in a variety of colours and can be painted directly onto the skin. It dries pretty quickly to a smooth, shiny rubber finish. If you apply enough layers – and do it correctly – it looks and feels as if you are wearing a rubber fetish outfit. The only limit is your imagination – liquid latex clothes are an exact fit, molding themselves to your body.
Some preparation is necessary. Wash and remove any stray hairs from the part of the body you intend to cover. This is very important. Liquid latex is very painful to remove if it gets stuck to body hair! You have been warned…
Secondly, this is a messy procedure, so it’s probably wise to use something to cover the floor or bed. Newspaper works, but a strong plastic sheet with baby oil is much more fun.
Liquid latex can be applied with a paintbrush. You’ll need a good quality one to ensure that the bristles don’t come lose. Apply the latex in thin layers. You need to let it dry before applying a second layer.
Much more enjoyable than the time-consuming method above is to use rubber gloves and apply the latex to each other’s bodies with your hands. Ok, the resultant rubber outfit will be a mess, if you even get that far, but this is really a lot of fun. Use small amounts of latex to draw patterns on each other’s bodies. Again its important to avoid areas of body hair, so don’t go crazy with large amounts of latex. Its messy – and sexy. Have fun!