The sex o'clock news

Not such a cheap slut
Rosie Reid, an 18-year-old from Dulwich in London, has successfully auctioned her virginity on the internet for e8,400. However, UK police are investigating whether or not the auction is illegal. Rosie, a student at Bristol University, held the auction as she wants to graduate without too many debts.
And you were worried about the angle of your dangle…
A Russian man has been told that he will have a bent penis for the rest of his life after trapping it in a padlock. Firemen in Moscow spent an hour trying to free the man after a sex game went horribly wrong. The firemen tried cold water and grease to free the man, but finally had to use a saw to cut him free. Luckily for the 20-year-old man, his bent member is still fully functional. Don’t try this at home, kids.

Nipple terrorises USA
If our young Russian friend had been American, perhaps he would have sued the padlock manufacturers. Consider the case of the Tennessee woman who has filed a complaint seeking class action status on behalf of all Americans who watched the Super Bowl and suffered “outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury” when they were exposed to the sight of Janet Jackson’s jewel-encrusted nipple. The suit names Jackson, Justin Timberlake, MTV, CBS and Viacom as defendants.

Stimulation for Eyes and Ears

Web
This fortnight’s site of choice is www.libida.com. The site itself looks quite tame, so you can view it at work without shocking any virginal colleagues. However, it’s packed full of useful information, sex tips, expert advice and features a great variety of toys for both guys and gals. My boyfriend was quite taken by the Aneros, a bizarre looking anal invader with two arms, which promises multiple male orgasms through prostate and perineum stimulation. I have the device on order, so I’ll let you know how he gets on.

Books
Fans of Anne Rice’s vampire tales might like to check out her erotic fiction. Writing as A.N. Roquelaure, Rice has revamped the fairytale of Sleeping Beauty as SM erotic fiction. In the trilogy, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty’s Punishment and Beauty’s Release, Beauty learns the pleasures of sexual submission. Although there is more than a slight nod to classics such as The Story of O and De Sade’s The Misfortunes of Virtue, the trilogy is considered by some to be Rice’s finest work. Available from www.libida.com and on order from most good book stores.

Sexton’s Miscellany
A girlfriend recently suggested to me that Irish blokes were not as good-looking as foreigners. Naturally I was shocked by her lack of patriotism, not to mention her poor observation skills. A survey conducted with my girlfriends in accordance to the strictest scientific principles revealed these to be our favourite local lads:

Colin Farrell – for a bit of rough
Stuart Townsend – pretty boy
Pierce Brosnan – the mature lady’s choice
Robbie Keane – powerful thighs
Conor Deasy (The Thrills) – broody and Byronic looking

Sex around the World – Facts and Figures

Most popular sexual position – The missionary
This is the old stand-by of man on top, woman on her back and is the most popular sexual position for married couples. I wonder if this could have anything to do with the high divorce rate in most of the West. The missionary is just as popular with unmarried couples – around 21% percent of those surveyed use this position exclusively.

Least popular sexual positions
Standing up is the least likely position that both married and unmarried couples will assume for sexual intercourse. Only about 4% of couples use this position. Sure it may be murder on the knees, but well worth it. Only slightly more popular is rear-entry coitus i.e. doggy style. Only about 6% of couples use this position regularly. Hmmm… I think some experimentation is sorely needed here.

Most popular dildo
Throughout history the most popular dildos have been those that occur in nature, namely fruit and vegetables. Considering the price of some sex toys, their continued popularity doesn’t surprise me. These au natural appliances are available in a variety of sizes, colours and shapes at your local Dunnes Stores. Don’t forget to buy Irish though.

Music
Kylie’s latest single ‘Red Blooded Woman’ is the tune of choice for this fortnight. Admittedly I have a thang for Ms Minogue, but the song features sexy vocals, a great tune and lyrics all hot-blooded women can relate to.

THIS ISSUE'S TOP SEX TIP/
Hitting the Spot
Although not technically a G-spot, men have a similar sensitive area in the rectum. Use a water-based lubricant and insert your finger slowly into the rectum. Use a steady gentle movement and go slowly, especially if this is your first attempt. The outermost third of the rectum is the most sensitive, so take your time here. Move your finger in and out as this helps relax the surrounding area. Once you are both feeling comfortable and your finger is fully inside, curl your finger to make the “come here” motion. This movement has the effect of your finger tapping on his prostrate. Some men are able to orgasm from this form of stimulation. As long as your partner has regular bowel movements and a recent shower, you won’t come across anything nasty!