The sex o' clock news

Is that a banana in your pocket or have you been to the plastic surgeon?
Lads, if you are not happy with what nature has given you, you’re not alone. According to a report in the The Sunday Independent, plastic surgery is on the up with Irish men of all ages. Although liposuction and fat removal are the most popular male procedures, Advanced Cosmetic Surgery, a plastic surgery company performs more than 20 penile enhancements in Ireland each month. A penile enhancement costs around five grand, but before you hand over the cash, think about the consequences. Possible side effects include numbness, skin discolouration, bleeding and infections. Not pretty.
“The director made me do it!”
Looks like no one is allowed to be responsible for his or her own behaviour any more. The Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine has published a study into the top grossing 200 films of the last twenty years – and it condemns moviemakers for irresponsible depictions of sex. According to the researchers, 98% of the sex scenes show no use condoms or even a suggestion of safe sex practices. The James Bond character, played by our own Pierce Brosnan, was particularly criticized for his casual sexual encounters.
Closet Lesbians
According to documents recently released by the UK’s National Archive, government censors between the two World Wars worried that banning books about lesbianism would lead to an increased interest in the subject. The documents reveal that the censors believed that publicity surrounding the banning of books would encourage women to adopt lesbian lifestyles.
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Porn goes local
Support local business and get your kicks by signing up to AdultMovieClub.ie. Launched earlier this year, the Irish owned website offers adult movie sales and rentals to customers across the 32 counties. As it’s a still relatively new, AMC doesn’t have a huge range yet, but the site does have something for everyone. Sections include movies for men, women, couples, gay, hardcore, mature and interracial action. The pricing is competitive too. Weekly rentals at weekly rentals at €10 for seven days and AMC offers an Unlimited Monthly Rentals package €30. FYI: although adult movies are available in many sex shops, it is still illegal to sell them in Ireland. According to an AMC, Adult Movie Club is the only place to buy adult movies legally in this country. See www.adultmovieclub.ie
The Sunday Tribune reports that local porn producer George Kingsbury, known as ‘Irish Mick’, scored an unexpected hit in the UK with his first adult movie, Fucked In Ireland. The action takes place in a cottage in Donegal and features both Irish and British girls. Available for approximately £20 from Rude Britannia. See www.bgafd.co.uk/films
Sexton’s Miscellany: The Most Common Mistakes Women Make In Bed (According To Men)
1. Always covering up
2. Wearing granny pants
3. Poor personal hygiene
4. Lack of sexual confidence
5. Worrying too much about perceived body flaws
6. Using sex, or lack of sex, as a weapon
7. Insensitivity to men’s sexual vulnerability
8. Lack of interest in sex
9. Expecting men to be mind readers
10. Not open or willing to try new things
11. Letting men do all the work
12. Not touching him directly or avoiding the penis
13. Being too rough with the penis or testicles
14. Scraping his penis with her teeth during a blowjob
15. Acting like semen is toxic
16. Stopping stroking before he’s done during a hand job
17. Scratching and clawing with sharp fingernails
18. Staying silent during sex
19. Faking orgasms
20. Mentioning past lovers
Source: C. Michael Smith www.clitical.com