Sex In Ireland 2012: A Hot Press Special

As I walk out of Miss Fantasia two young men stop me.

“Ooh cheeky!” laughs one, as his friend gives me a wink and a double-thumbs up.
Their attitude is not lascivious. Rather it is playful. Nor does it hurt that neither looks older than 25 and they’re both good-looking! I wink back and give them a cheeky smile.
It is an uplifting, positive experience making a nice change from the reaction of the older Garda who saw me walking in and gave me an unsettling look – part lust, part disgust.
Perhaps this is not so surprising. There has been a generational shift, as Miss Fantasia’s Jacinta tells me: young people are not ashamed to be seen in the shop, browsing merrily through the selection of outfits, lingerie, sex toys and DVDs with their heads held high.
Is our attitude to sex changing? Yes, and it has been for a while. While I doubt that the phenomenon of E.L. James’ 50 Shades Of Grey is directly responsible for this, the popularity of the book certainly reflects it. In that sense, 2012 may well be a watershed moment in our attitude to sex.
50 Shades Of Grey has been flying off the shelves at such a rate that publishers can’t keep up with the demand. According to David O’Callaghan, a buyer with Easons, over 20 million of the books have been sold worldwide, 3.4 million in the UK and around 85,000 in Ireland. That’s as I write. By the time
you read this, the figures are bound to be significantly higher.
An astonishing 1,645,422 copies sold in the UK in just 12 weeks. It took Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, the best-selling paperback of all time, 46 weeks to achieve the same figure.
“In the last week in the UK alone, it sold one million copies,” says O’Callaghan. “They can’t print them fast enough. There are three key problems. They don’t have enough paper at the moment, they don’t have enough foil for the jacket and
they don’t have enough trucks, when they do get them printed.”
So who is buying 50 Shades?
Mostly women, says Bruno Batista of Chapters in Dublin, ranging in age from around 20 to 50. “We had book clubs come in and buy them as well. It’s selling faster than the Harry Potter books, the Twilight series or even The Da Vinci Code.”
Reports from the UK suggest that the popularity of the book has seen an increase in sex toy sales as well, in particular BDSM paraphernalia, including whips and blindfolds. I got onto some of Ireland’s best-known adult stores to find out if this was true also in the lands of saints and scholars.
Brendan Almack from online adult retailer, TheSexShop.ie, tells me that in the last few
weeks there has definitely been increased traffic to their site.
“We couldn’t figure it out,” Brendan says, “and then someone mentioned the 50 Shades book. We have been selling quite a lot over the last week, week and a half, that’s for sure!”
What are their most popular sellers? “Vibrators closely followed by cock rings,” says Brendan. “A lot of people are making a his-and-hers purchase.”
The ultimate his-and-hers toy is the We-Vibe and this is a particularly big hit at the moment.
“There is a bigger interest in erotic novels in general,” says Avril from SecretsIreland.com. “They work better for women because they are more imaginative.”
While 50 Shades Of Grey may have seen a bump in toy sales, Irish attitudes to toys have been changing for a while.
“More women are buying for themselves,” Avril says, “and there is also a lot more, to put it discreetly, bottom sex going on.”
Justin from Miss Fantasia has noticed a similar trend. The store now stocks a whole row of products for anal sex. “It used to be just a couple of items,” he says, “but we’ve expanded our range a lot recently.”
Also selling well at the moment, says Justin, are strap-on dildos, used by women on their male – or female – partners.
While the stigma has clearly gone from buying sex toys and people travel from all over Ireland to drop into places like Miss Fantasia, online adult stores are good for those outside urban areas who can’t get to town, or who prefer not to be seen walking in and out of sex shops. Both TheSexShop.ie. and SecretsIreland.com deliver in plain packaging and use innocuous names on credit card statements.
“Most of our searches come from Dublin,” Brendan says, “but the majority of our sales are outside Dublin and generally in remote areas.
We’ve sold a good few things in Mayo, for example, in Louth and in Kerry
as well.”
The sheer number of products can be overwhelming for newbies, but online retailers are happy to guide customers.
“I have no problem answering any questions, no matter how unusual they might be,” says Avril. “I find a lot of people prefer email because they can say what they want. They don’t like to say as much verbally. My attitude is that it’s not something people should be ashamed of either way.”
If you are in the capital, popping into Miss Fantasia to look at what’s on offer is a great idea. Jacinta and Justin are knowledgeable, friendly and the store stocks a cornucopia of products with just about everything to suit the most vanilla to the most extreme of tastes, from lingerie to electro stimulation and more.
“At this stage I think I have seen it all!” Justin laughs.
Justin has noticed a recent increase in curiosity about BDSM sex. What would he recommend for beginners?
“Some guys especially are visual so they’d want the thigh-high boots, the PVC,” he says. “With women they might want something more physical, like nipple clamps or a paddle. In my experience men tend to be more visual, women more physical.”
If you are keen to introduce something new into your sex life and want to get something for a partner, it makes sense to start slowly.
Justin, Avril and Brendan all recommend clitoral stimulators to begin with. They are small and discreet and many of them are stylishly designed. Indeed, the past few years have seen a big leap forward in the quality of sex toy design.
“They can look like high-end electronic products now,” Justin says, “so people don’t feel ashamed about owning them.”
Buying sexy outfits or lingerie for a woman can be a minefield, especially if you’re not sure what your partner will like.
“You can’t really go wrong with a sexy skirt or a corset,” says Jacinta. Miss Fantasia also supplies lingerie to Ireland’s growing burlesque scene. These are sexy without being too in-your-face and are a good choice as
a gift.
Men who are embarrassed buying lingerie in public go the online route. If so, online retailers like JustMe.ie offer a good option. With corsets, bridal lingerie, stockings, outfits and a range of plus-size options, there is something for every lady.
“Camis and baby dolls are our most popular sellers,” says Michal Grubka of JustMe. These are a good choice as a gift, as they avoid the more difficult sizing issues of bras and underwear. “If you are buying lingerie as a gift, first off you have to know your lady’s size and know what kind of thing
she likes.”
Michal recommends erring on the size of caution if you are not sure exactly what will appeal to your partner. “You can’t buy something that is going to make your lady feel uncomfortable. Everybody wants a bit of adventure – but at the same time classic lingerie is very tasteful and allows you break the ice about
dressing up.”
Nobody needs toys or lingerie to have a good sex life. Then again, nobody needs an iPod to appreciate music – but it’s still great to have one. Whether your sexual tastes lean towards dressing up, good vibrations, pain and domination, all or none of the above, there is something out there for you. With the right partner, even the dirtiest sex is good clean fun!