College is all about sex

Once upon a time, not very long ago, in a place pretty much exactly like here, a magical thing happened. A young woman and a young man went to college. Not together – it’s not that kind of story – but separately.
They headed off from all they had known, into the next great chapter of their lives, and had a wonderful time. They studied, they met friends, they fell in and out of lust and even love, they laughed and danced and read. They may have had a few hangovers, but they had no regrets. And when it was over, they graduated. Sure, it was only marvellous!
Boys and girls, you might wonder how they managed this. C’mere to me and I’ll tell you. They were young, and fun, and full of energy, but they were also sensible. They studied when they needed to study, and they practiced safe sex. You too can be smart about sex.
In truth, you only need to do three smart things. Read on and learn…

Sort Out Your Contraception
If you are capable of getting pregnant, you need contraception. You may not be having sex now; you may not be planning on having sex in the foreseeable future. You still need contraception.
Things change, mistakes are made, shit happens. It’s better to plan ahead – just in case. You get a pass if you are a lesbian and completely uninterested in boner-based sex. However, hormonal contraception can sort out your cycle, seriously reduce menstrual cramps and help you bypass periods entirely. It’s definitely worth doing.
Have a look at the Think Contraception and IFPA websites beforehand, to get a good idea of your options. If you are straight and going into first year, long-acting reversible contraceptives may be your best bet. LARCs such as the implant or coil work for a number of years, so it is entirely possible to go through third-level education and on into your first job without ever needing to renew your contraception.
The major issue with LARCs, however, is that the initial outlay is expensive. If you can speak to one of your parents about this, go ahead and ask them to help you pay for it. If not, check out what sexual health services, if any, are available at your college, or contact your local IFPA branch for an appointment.
If you prefer the pill, ask about the effectiveness and cost of different types and brands. Let me give you an example. The mini pill Cerazette costs around €15 from a chemist and €12 from the IFPA. The generic equivalent is Azalia. It is about €7 at a pharmacy, but you can get three packs from the IFPA for €15. If you are on a budget, it makes sense to use a generic that works exactly the same, for a lot less.
Certain contraceptives, such as the hormonal intrauterine system and the mini-pill have a fantastic side effect — little to no periods. And no sanitary wear either — leaving you free to live la vida loca on all those sweet, sweet tampons savings…

Find The Free (And Cheap) Condoms
No matter what gender or sexual orientation you are, you should know where to get free condoms. The HIV Ireland website publishes a list of places to get your hands on them. If a SHAG event is happening on your campus, get yourself along and pick up some freebies. Some gay bars and LGBT resource centres offer free condoms too.
Now, I am not suggesting that you raid your local clinic of all the free condoms, but you should know where to get them. If you are a typical broke student, there will almost certainly be a time when you need, but can’t afford, them.
You should also look at buying in bulk with friends. If you buy them in packs of three, condoms cost close to €1.50 each – that’s quite an outlay for a necessity. Condoms prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, so you can’t just forego them. It’s simply not an option. Well, it is, but it is a stupid one. However, it is possible to buy large packs of 144 for €40, or even 500 for around €150. But let’s be honest – you won’t use them all! Condoms don’t keep indefinitely so sharing the pack, and the costs, with others makes sense when you are on a budget.

Don’t Have Sex When Drunk
As a mature, adult person it behoves me to tell you not to drink too much. Will you listen? Probably not. Hell, I don’t drink sensibly on occasion (or occasions), but if there is one thing I have learnt, it is that sex and booze is a very bad mix. Do. Not. Go. There.
First, and most importantly, if you and a potential partner have both been drinking, consent becomes difficult – if not impossible – to establish. If you’re drunk, you can’t give consent. If you have been drinking but feel capable of consent, you can’t necessarily judge if your partner is equally capable. Some people can knock back copious amounts of alcohol and look fine, but are unable to remember what they did, or said, the next day.
If you’ve been drinking, the best thing to do is… nothing. Well, you can snog a bit, but leave it there. If you fancy someone and they fancy you back, you can always revisit the possibility of sex at a later, sober point. If you suspect they will not be as keen when sober, then back the fuck away. You know, and I know, and even the birds in the trees know, that carrying on with sexual advances on someone who is drunk is predatory behaviour.
The other thing to remember is that consent needs to go both ways. This is something that is often glossed over, but women need to get consent, as well as give it, for any sexual interaction. So ladies, just because you are willing, don’t assume that your partner is, especially if he or she has been drinking.
You are also a lot less likely to practice safe sex if you have been knocking back the booze. Alcohol has an annoying tendency to make you feel invincible. It also makes you clumsy with condoms. Used correctly, condoms are 98 percent effective. Human error can reduce that to a far less impressive 82 percent. So even if you do use a condom when you’ve been drinking, there is a good chance you’ll use it badly.
There you are – three simple rules that make a big difference to your sexual health. College is a learning experience – but there is no need for it to be the School of Hard Knocks. Have a wonderful year!
HIS WEEK’S SEX TIP: ASKING FOR CONSENT
If you are old enough to have sex, then you are old enough to ask for consent. Some people worry that it will spoil the mood. It won’t – not if done properly. It’s not so much the words you use, as the way you say them. If you are worried about coming across as too pushy or forward, try these:
1. Do you want to stop here or go further?
2. I have condoms. Will I get one out?
3. Can you get a condom?
4. I’d like to make you cum with my mouth/hand. Is that OK?
5. Would you like me to X?