The Pillaging People

As moist as Caught In The Net got last week when Everton heroically tamed Chelsea at Goodison, our inaugural Inspirational Sports Team of the Fortnight Award goes to that most marauding of American Football teams, the Minnesota Vikings.
Treated to a team-bonding dinner cruise on Lake Minnetonka by their new owner, these fine young men engaged in what www.mercurynews.com describe as an “orgy of oral sex, masturbation and playing with sex toys. Waitresses said they were propositioned and offered tips for lap dances. One employee opened a galley and three naked women popped out. Before the party, people urinated on a neighbour’s lawn.”
Quizzed about the alledged hi-jinx, an 18-year-old crew member said, “I was petrified. The behavior was terrible. The Vikings were absolutely participating. This was not a passive event for them. It was outrageous.”
Forget the Corinthian spirit and Marquis of Queensbury rules, these are the sporting values we ought to be instilling in our youngsters.
From there it’s but a mere mouse-click to www.mingthemerciless.com, a seriously bizarre animated site, which appears to originate from the States rather than Roscommon where our own Ming is currently a county councillor.
Caught In The Net loves a good nutter, and they don’t come any more cashewy than Andreas K, a German with a purple alien head who sings lounge classics very badly.
According to the biog at www.kompressormusic.com he was “born in Bremen, come to USA for computerprogram job. Now dedicated to crushing America with industrial might.”
Noble sentiments, but we’re not convinced he’s going to bring George Bush down with a frog-throated ‘Girl From Ipanema’.
Which just leaves time for visits to www.taxidrivermovie.com(Courtney Love having what done?); www.mylo.tv (blistering hour-long set from the Isle of Skye jock); and www.thestranger.com, (we thought it tasted a bit yeasty).