The pan within

It’s not OK or Hello!, but I have to say that I’m jolly excited about inviting Grandaddy into my beautiful Liffeyside apartment.

With the band in desperate need of some home cooking after 15 months on the road, we’ve struck a deal whereby I’ll take care of the side dishes and bassist Kevin Garcia will construct his internationally renowned Beef Fajitas.

Pukka Jamie Oliver-type that I am, I have my Refried Beans, Mushrooms & Peppers in Cream Cheese, Chorizo, Potato & Mozzarella Bake, Guacamole and crate of ice cold Budweiser fully prepared before Modesto’s finest saunter into my open plan living-cum-cooking area (if anyone says ‘bedsit’, they’re dead).

Is Garcia genuinely into cooking or did he, like me, suss at an early age that it’s a brilliant way of luring young ladies into your gaff?

“No, it was a necessity. Mum didn’t really cook very much, so we were left to fend for ourselves. In America we have a completely self-contained cooking rig which, whenever time allows, we set up outside a venue and have ourselves a feast.”

Did he do the normal California teenager thing of nipping across the border to Tijuana and getting royally shit-faced?

“Yeah, I got into a little trouble there when I was 15 or 16,” he laughs. “The tequila’s like $5 a bottle, so you can do a lot of damage to yourself for relatively little money. It’s certainly way more exciting than Modesto.”

Yeah, I couldn’t help noticing that there’s a link on the Grandaddy website to www.whymodestosucks.com

“It’s just a boring, featureless town that – if anything – is getting more boring and featureless as time goes on. The local newspaper didn’t even acknowledge our existence until a year ago when our video made it onto MTV.”

Who, apart from Grandaddy, passes as a celebrity locally?

“George Lucas, the guy who plays Spike on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Timothy Olyphant who was in that movie Go, and the owners of the biggest winery in the world, Ernest and Julio Gallo.”

The Modesto Bee – honestly, that’s what the local organ’s called – aren’t the only ones who’ve discovered Grandaddy over the past 12 months. Aided by the aforementioned video for ‘The Crystal Lake’, the quintet have escaped the lo-fi ghetto and moved to within touching distance of rock ‘n’ roll stardom. It’s been an exciting and, on more than a few occasions, surreal ride.

“When this Norwegian death metal band, Mayhem, played before us at Roskilde, they had a pig’s head which they threw out into the audience,” proffers guitarist Jim Fairchild. “Their original singer killed their original guitarist, which was pretty disconcerting.

“I tell you what, though. I’d love to gig with Slayer. They released three great records, starting with Reign In Blood.”

What about celebrity hobnobbing?

“I played badminton with Beck yesterday,” he continues. “Who won? Him and his bass player. He’s definitely one of the best people out there now making records. On top of that, we’re friends with the Super Furry Animals, The Radars, Elliot Smith, Howe Gelb and Coldplay who we toured with recently.”

Given Grandaddy’s collective penchant for skateboarding, why aren’t they Blink 182?

“Because they’re already Blink 182, and they probably don’t ride skateboards either,” Kevin Garcia resumes. “It’s funny how many bands have attached themselves to skateboarding, but only in an image way. When we first signed to V2 in America, we took a chunk of that money and built a huge ramp in Tim’s back garden. Between us, we’ve had a couple of broken wrists and a couple of broken ankles, but that was back before the band took off.”

I’d love to chat about their medical history some more, but singer Jason Lytle looks like he’s going to pass out unless he gets a hot beef injection (You might want to rephrase that, Ed).

“There’s only one reason Kevin’s in the band,” Lytle chuckles, “and it’s not for his bass playing!”

Bon appetit.

800g of fillet steak, sliced

Shitloads of jalapeno peppers, bunged nonchalantly into the frying-pan

Even more shitloads of garlic, chopped finely

2 onions, sliced

1 green pepper, sliced

Generous dollop of tomato puree

Can of Budweiser, opened

Shot of Mescal, worm removed

Jif lemon, squirted into the pan and then at fellow band members

Salt & pepper to taste

Coriander from Stuart Clark’s window-box to garnish

Method

Brown steak over a medium heat and then add the jalapenos, garlic, onion, green pepper and tomato puree. Cook together for 5 minutes.

Tell lead singer to “get your fucking hands off that can of Budweiser” and pour contents into the frying pan, along with the shot of Mescal. Leave to simmer for 10 minutes.

Ignore protests from the rest of the people in the room and chuck in more jalapenos.

Add salt, pepper and lemon juice to taste.

Throw in another jalapeno while no one’s looking.

Garnish with fresh chopped coriander.

Serve with flour tortillas, refried beans, guacamole, sour cream, mozzarella and Andrew’s Liver Salts.

Remove debris from beard.

Serves: The whole band, hangers-on and a scurvy hack.

The Sophtware Slump by Grandaddy is out now on V2