Slavs to the rhythm

Wed July 21
The tour begins! We all met up with the great Jens and Crystal, our tour managers, at the ungodly hour of 6.30am to catch a flight on ‘Sadist Airways’ to the fifth ring of hell – otherwise known as Stanstead airport. We only had to spend a couple of hours there this time as opposed to the 15 we spent on the way back from the last tour, where we ended up having a communal piss into a pink hat that we picked up in the sex shop in Frankfurt airport just to stave off the boredom.

Thurs 22
This morning we went to the venue to drop off our gear and wait for Autamata to arrive. Then we all took off to a bar to watch the Czech Republic get knocked out of the World Cup. At the show, I got to fulfill the life long ambition of wearing a gorilla suit for the first couple of songs.
Sat 24
Tonight was cool. We played in the basement, or maybe it was a dungeon, of this castle at the Spalikec Festival. The gig was extremely loud and I accidentally ate the dinner of one of the other bands, which received a few frowns. On the bright side, we had our own dancing gimp onstage – slightly unnerving but the crowd seemed to lap it up.
Sun 25
Needless to say I felt a bit crap this morning because the usual shenanigans preceded last night’s gig. First up for us was a train journey to Brezno in Slovakia. This was the coolest experience for me so far – the countryside is absolutely gorgeous. At the risk of having my head lopped off, I stuck it out the window like a border collie for the duration of the journey.
Mon 26
The alcohol and the heat are begining to scramble my brain. I can’t really remember going to bed last night. We took our lives into our hands with a psychopathic taxi driver on the way back to the digs. Ed said something sarcastic to him about speeding up, which he took as a cue to actually speed up and weave in and out between on-coming cars at break-neck speed. All I can say is thank God I was pissed.
Tue 27
There was a slight mix up about stage times so we got to the venue about five minutes after we were due to go on. The promoters were a little anxious, as there were a lot of teenage punk rockers in the venue (cool) so they told us if things get a little out of hand to play a slow song. Yeah right, sure we will! Another thing that I should mention is that the gig was in an art gallery which used to be an old power station. It was by far and away the best show of the tour so far .
Fri 30
Tonight we all play the Zalena Voda festival, a kind of Slovakian Oxegen. After checking in and all that bollocks, we were taken to the main backstage area for some grub. So far so good. Then, all of a sudden, the heavens opened. In all honesty, I’ve never seen a shower of rain like it before. By the time we went on we were playing to about 500, who, by the end of the set, were covered in mud. It was still cool and a lot of fun. After the gig I watched the first half of Autamata’s set with the friendly mud people. The lighting and sound were second to none and Rulers, along with Jens and Crystal, joined Autamata onstage for the chorus of ‘Liberty Bell’, doing breakdancing and everything. It felt like Live Aid and was great craic.