Shut Up

Hilariously, it’s been suggested that the permanently pouting member of America’s most dysfunctional family is more in need of anger management classes than a record deal! But given the massive success of the MTV series, it was surely only a matter of time before the Osbourne dynasty extended its tentacles.

Kelly was always the ideal candidate for future stardom, her “rich spoilt brat” persona and belligerence making her a prime candidate for the full marketing works. And while there’s no shortage of faux teenage angst on display here, there are a handful of numbers that make this more than the empty cash-in it might otherwise have seemed.

The title track and current single appears to be aimed squarely at Mammy Osbourne, who – let’s-face-it – can come across as an interfering old bat on the telly. “You nag and you nag and I gag... I think you get off hearing yourself speak,” wails Kelly, with all the adolescent hormonal conviction of Harry Enfield’s Kevin in full flight. ‘Disconnected’ sounds for all the world like a rewrite of Kim Wilde’s ‘Kids In America’, with a nod towards Tiffany’s ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’, while the likes of ‘Come Dig Me Out’ and ‘Coolhead’ are more straight-ahead mall-punk.

Osbourne’s voice is predictably tuneless and out of pitch most of the time (but then the old man wasn’t exactly known for his vocal finesse). That said her version of Madonna’s ‘Papa Don’t Preach’ (included here as a hidden track) is a fine interpretation by any standards.

What ultimately rescues this album from mediocrity is the muscular backing from a tight band who hit their stride on ‘Contradiction’ – all wailing guitars, that are topped off with Osbourne’s “singing” at its most authentic (and least irritating).

By the final track, ‘More Than Life Itself’, the tantrum has run its course and she comes over all affectionate and wholesome: “I don’t care if it sounds trite/I’ll say it over and over again/I love you, I love you, I love you.”

That’s my girl!