Gob story

Q: What do the Beckhams, The Kooks, the Geldofs and The Pussycat Dolls all have in common?
A: They have all fallen victim to scathing verbal attacks from the gobbiest of them all – step forward, one Lily Allen.

See, Allen’s interviews (and blog entries) are a far cry from the light and sweetness of her music. Summer ’06 may well be remembered as the Summer of Lily, as she dominated not just the airwaves (with her smash hit single ‘Smile’) but the tabloid headlines too, as she ritually slayed a number of sacred cows with her caustic wit and sharp tongue. Seemingly, no-one was safe.
The indie community were the first to suffer, as ex-Libertine Carl Barat and Luke Pritchard from The Kooks were cut down to size. “Boys, your regurgitated indie rock days are numbered, so get over yourselves,” Lily snarled, before continuing: “Carl Barat is obviously convinced he is God or something.” Pritchard (an ex-schoolmate of Allen’s) came in for even harsher treatment: “I was quite annoyed at how much of a bad man he thinks he is,” Allen sneered. “There is no excuse for wearing broken straw hats and dark sunglasses two storeys underground of Alexandra Palace, while strumming your guitar, like you’re treating everyone to an exclusive showcase for your next album. This is a dressing room and you’re not Jim fucking Morrison, ok?!” Quite.
The Beckhams were to get it with both barrels, too, as Allen’s dissatisfaction with England’s poor World Cup performance required an outlet.
“David Beckham’s shit,” she raged. “I hope he never plays for England again. The FA only play him for fear of losing shirt sales, and I’m ashamed of us for those reasons.”
Victoria was also on the end of a verbal sucker punch, for the heinous crime of being too thin.
“She gives a bad image to children,” spoketh Lily. “No one should be that skinny. I don’t care how much she says that’s her natural weight – that’s bull. She gets photographed every day and doesn’t eat anything.”
The Pussycat Dolls also received a tongue-lashing for setting young girls the wrong example.
“They take all their clothes off, don’t say anything, promote womanising and look like lapdancers, as far as I’m concerned,” Allen chided.
Lily was also unafraid to diss those closest to the public’s affections, as recovering breast cancer sufferer Kylie Minogue and do-gooder Bob Geldof received the full Allen treatment.
“To me, Kylie playing Glastonbury would be the ultimate insult to it,” she raged. “It should be about new, interesting music, not mainstream pop.”
Allen showed even less mercy with Geldof, who was labelled “a cunt” on her weblog. “He’s so self-important and takes himself far too seriously,” she later explained. “He doesn’t publicise that he’s got a two-million quid house in Battersea and all that.”
This remark did not seem to go down too well with Peaches Geldof, who was alleged to have labelled Allen a “cokehead”. Allen’s response was characteristically uninhibited; reportedly, she spat at young Geldof’s feet after spotting her at the V Festival in Chelmsford.
Love her or loathe, 2006 would have been a far less interesting place without Lily Allen and her gigantic gob.