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“I’d give it to distressed donkeys or something but Jez and Andy (Williams), well, they’d kick the crap out of each other to get the twenty-five grand. I’m the sensitive artist, they’re the greedy bastards!”

Jimi Goodwin is talking about what’s likely to happen if Doves win this year’s Music Mercury Prize. Not that they will, you understand.

“The Streets have got it sewn up, haven’t they?” the singer rues. “I’m not sure about him being from Birmingham and having a London accent – what’s that about? – but Original Pirate Material’s great. Especially for a debut. He’s really captured that stoned at three in the morning vibe, the urban boredom. That’s how a lot of kids live – getting off their bin every night and stumbling down the Esso shop to get themselves a Mars bar and a pint of milk.

“I’m a bit upset that Richard Hawley’s been overlooked. He’s not doing anything new, but when you have that Elvis Presley/Chet Baker thing going on like he does, well, it’s gonna be good. The judges were bang on nominating Roots Manuva, though. It’s such an – what’s the word I’m looking for – honest record. Anyway, fuck them, back to us! It’s a fight to the death.”

Does Goodwin have any medals at home for winning the Under-7 Egg & Spoon Race or is he one of life’s losers?

“You cheeky sod! I’ll have you know that I won the Slash & Dash in the baths when I was a nipper. As far as Doves are concerned, we’re ambitious without being ambitious. If that makes any sense.”

Is it a wee bit embarrassing then when popular music weeklies run headlines like, “Doves take on Gareth Gates in singles chart battle”?

“Oh God, they didn’t? I’m mortified.”

So how does it feel to be taking Gareth on in anything other than a fistfight?

“I really haven’t got an opinion about the lad. He’s a fair set of pipes, but he’s so far removed from what we do. It’s getting a bit tedious now this slagging boy bands. If you don’t like ‘em, ignore ‘em.

“I am pleased, though, that ‘There Goes The Fear’ did so well in the charts. You don’t expect a song that sounds like three other songs spliced together to go so high. ‘Pounding’ not making the top 20 was disappointing, but at the end of the day singles are there to promote the album, and The Last Broadcast has gone silver now. We’re well happy with that.”

Personally I think he’s pulling my plonker, but John Walsh is adamant that Goodwin’s a ginormous Planxty fan.

“I grew up with Irish music,” he enthuses. “One of my uncle’s is a shit hot piper, another’s brilliant on the bodhran.”

Funnily enough I was just in the same sweet shop as Donal Lunny. I can’t say for certain, but I think it’s Maltesers he bought.

“Donal Lunny! Bazouki, mandolin, arranging – he’s brilliant at the lot! All my family are from Cork and Dublin so I’m allowed to call you a bunch of villains. Actually, you’re nearly as bad as those Scousers!”

Oh, he could regret that if it turns out to be a muddy day at Slane. Talking of brilliant arrangers, The Last Broadcast benefits from the involvement of Microdisney and High Llamas man Sean O’Hagan.

“We gave him our ideas and a couple of samples of ‘Friday’s Dust’ that I wanted recreating, and him and his partner, Marcus Holdaway, got on with it. We did that and ‘Superman’ in three hours with a string section and five brass-players. He’s quite serious and intense Sean, but I’d rather that than people turning up late and not giving a shit.”

As older fans will probably be aware, Doves started life 10 years ago as the altogether more gyratable Sub Sub. Haçienda regulars, they not only managed to co-opt Tricky and Bernard Sumner onto their records, but infiltrated the top 3 with ‘Ain’t No Love (Ain’t No Use)’. Does Jimi have fond memories of the Factory scene, or has the nostalgia thing got out of hand?

“I haven’t been boozing with Bernard for a couple of years, more’s the pity, but him and Johnny Marr are funny bastards. Manchester’s a small place, so everybody tends to know everybody else.

“I went into 24 Hour Party People thinking, ‘I can’t wait to hate this’, but Michael Winterbottom actually did a pretty good job. Some things are worth getting nostalgic about, like A Certain Ratio who I can’t believe formed 25 years ago. The Haçienda at the end was a fucking joke but early on, yeah, it was a cool place to play and hang out. I hadn’t missed it in ages until last week when I was driving past the site and went to myself, ‘I’d love to go through those plastic doors again!’

“The time to kick back is when you’re 70 and in your slippers. You shouldn’t feel proud of your achievements until you’ve stopped achieving. It muddies the mind.”

He’d rather be supporting a reformed Planxty, of course, but Jimi realises what a big deal following in U2’s wake at Slane is.

“What I loved about the Elevation tour is that it was house lights, man. Simple ambers which made you think – as much as is possible – that you were in a club. We did an arena tour recently with Travis and it was fascinating to see how Fran connects with the crowd. He’d gabber away some nights for 10 minutes and everybody’d be listening to him.

“I like the way the Beastie Boys did it in the round. Smashing Pumpkins a few years ago at the Manchester NYMEX were genius too. The sheer sound and sonics of it all, wow!

“You’ve got to try and make the arenas seem more intimate. Even as a support, you have to think about how you reach Row Z. It’s a bit daunting but, y’know, I reckon we’re up to the challenge.”

I don’t doubt it for a second. There seems to be a vacuum at the moment for a big band which, like it or not, Doves and Coldplay are being sucked into. In fact, gambling-types would be well advised to have a few bob on them co-headlining the Main Stage at Witnness 2003.

“As long as you don’t do what they do in Britain and call us ‘the new Radiohead’, I don’t mind,” Goodwin winces. “It was great the other day in the Washington Post when they said we’re going to be big ‘cause we don’t sound like Radiohead. I’ve given up trying to understand journalists’ minds!”

Well, they are scary places.

“Actually, it’s going really well. We just got back from the Mount Fuji festival in Japan where we played to 6,000 people in a packed out tent. Australia the second time around was good too. Never mind the Mercury Music Prize, it’s global domination we’re after!”