Best Of

The Christians: "Best Of" (Island Records)

IT LOOKS like the five-year contract must be up. The albums have been put out, the videos piled high in MTV and the wardrobe's bursting at the seams. All's not so rosy in the Christian brothers' garden though. Deep and meaningful doesn't sell by the cartload these days. What's that that George Jones used to say? "Nothing frightens me more/Than religion at my door." The man was a sage.

For a greatest hits package this little bundle of joy does actually deliver on its promise. It's the stuff of every daytime radio programmer's dreams; colour-by-numbers synth lines under the suitably guileless, occasionally shockingly naïve vocals of Garry Christian. It's the kind of thing you'd happily hoover and scrub to, if only because its rhythms'd lull you into a semi-comatose state; a viable mind state for such tantalising pursuits.

I fear I judge them too harshly though. 'Ideal World', 'Hoovervile' and 'What's In A Word' are instantly hummable feelgood toons that'll bring a smile to even the most jaded of faces. Easy on the ears, they glide past like an aural valium to dull pained nerves and calm nervy twitches.

All but three of the 13 tracks here are from their own peann luaidhes, with covers from Bob Marley ('Small Axe') and Gil Scott Heron ('The Bottle') and The Isley Brothers ('Harvest For The World') all ably delivered, if a tad over-earnestly.

The only significant glitch in the machinery though is 'Words', its original music siphoned from Seán O'Riada's back catalogue, a synthesised travesty that'd probably send the man into a topspin in his grave if he heard it. Like Simple Minds' reworking of 'Belfast Child' it pales by comparison with the original and carries not a whiff of the prototype's spirit.

Who would buy this I wonder? Christians fans tend to be earnest and well-meaning and probably have all the originals anyway. The hits were often watery in terms of chart placing too so it's unlikely to be an essential stocking filler for any belated pop wannabes. Maybe a good investment for anyone intending to write a treatise on the plight of the world we live in: Everything from Green issues to Doubt and Belief are aired.

Me? Call me old-fashioned but I prefer my preaching in a synagogue. The CD's no place for sermonising, of that I'm sure.

• Siobhán Long