Album Review: Whatitdo Archive Group - The Black Stone Affair

If there’s one thing that cooler-than-thou vinyl collectors love pulling out of their man bags at a vinyl show-and-tell, it’s a battered old soundtrack to some obscure movie you’ve never heard of, and all the better if it happens to have the words ‘Ennio’ and ‘Morricone’ on the front. “What do you mean you’ve never heard of La Spia Che Ha Scopato?” they’ll scoff, and it is down their noses they will look when you offer a blank stare to their assertion that Grandi Palle McGraw features some of Il Maestro’s finest work.

The next time this happens to you, suppress the urge to slap them in the face and instead send their jaws to the floor by casually mentioning The Black Stone Affair. As they start to sweat, take a sip of your drink and explain how the dark adventure movie was the one that was supposed to put the young Italian director Stefano Paradisi right up there with the greats before it was mysteriously lost, and the soundtrack, by the shady Whatitdo Archive Group, has only recently been rediscovered.

As they log on to Discogs in a flap, chuckle away to yourself in the knowledge that this excellent record has been painstakingly constructed to lend credence to the tall tale related above. It’s really the work of three American musos who are probably no strangers to dusty record fairs themselves. The back 'story' is one thing, and the cover art is as ridiculously cool as you might expect, but what of the music itself?

One listen to 'Main Theme' will have you dressing better, possibly in a pair of aviator shades and an open necked shirt, as you make your way through a seventies airport while endeavouring to evade the attentions of Interpol. Imagine yourself waiting for a connection at some street-side Euro cafe as 'Blood Chief' plays, before it all kicks off and you have to make a run for it. The horn-driven, wah-wah groove of ‘Ethiopian Airlines’ should have its own clothing line. You can picture Shaft following a few leads as 'Il Furto Di Africo' plays in the background. The bossa nova of ‘Italian Love Triangle’ was designed for a day out boating with La Contessa, and you could, quite easily, shoot a few louses for laughing at your mule during the marvellously authentic Spaghetti Western stylings of ‘Beaumont’s Lament’. In fact, I'm seriously considering changing my name to 'Beaumont Jenkins' and pulling off just one last big score before I retire to the islands.

This is the soundtrack that Quentin Tarantino’s dreams are made of. Buy it for the snob value - it'll look good under your arm; enjoy it because it’s very, very good.