On Valentine's Day, Women's Aid releases domestic abuse survey results

Women's Aid, a national charity organisation that aims to prevent and address domestic abuse, has released the results of a quiz detailing abusive tendencies in younger people's relationships.

Three months ago, Women's Aid launched the #TooIntoYou awareness campaign, aiming to educate young women on red flags in relationships that can indicate domestic abuse. Released with it was a quiz designed to evaluate the healthiness of a person's relationship.

Over 20,000 respondents have taken the quiz since it launched.

💘Valentine's Day is all about celebrating love - but abuse can hide in relationships that seem romantic on the surface. Our Relationship Quiz at https://t.co/YrIO1pkc3G @Womens_Aid site for young people, has been taken almost 20,000 times since it launched in Nov 22 #TooIntoYou

— Too Into You (@TooIntoYou) February 14, 2023

Results were released this morning. In the quiz 93% of women said that a partner has threatened to release intimate images or photos during a fight.

83% said that their partner has hit them at least once and fear a repetition.

72% said their partner demands to go through their phone.

69% have been sexually coerced.

All of the above instances are considered domestic abuse, specifically coercive control.

The #TooIntoYou campaign introduced the term "coercive control" to many younger women, one in five of whom had never heard of it before. It was an extremely important introduction, considering that one in six women between ages 18 and 24 suffer from it.

Coercive control, the persistent pattern of controlling and threatening behavior in a relationship, has been illegal in Ireland since January 2019. It can include isolation from friends or families, the deprivation of necessities like food and heating, degradation, the monitoring of online activity, and more.

Coercive control is designed to make it difficult for a partner to leave. It can include the threat of releasing private information, like intimate photos such as nudes.

“It can be incredibly damaging to young women’s emotional and physical well-being, and can result in them giving up work or education and becoming completely isolated from friends and family,” said Sarah Benson, the CEO of Women’s Aid.

For Valentine's Day, the campaign announced that the #TooIntoYou movement will run an in-person pop-up booth in Dublin. They foster conversations about and awareness of the red flags that have become normalised in young people.

"If these behaviors continue to be brushed off as 'not a big deal,' or excused as jealousy or insecurity then it creates a harmful picture of what young people should expect in their intimate relationships. We must call these behaviors our as abusive and unacceptable."

Today @Womens_Aid launches the #TooIntoYou campaign with a pop-up Valentine’s Shop experience to teach young people about red flags of abuse. The experience is designed to start a conversation about healthy & unhealthy relationships & shine a light on unhealthy behaviours. pic.twitter.com/hiKC5FdEvC

— Too Into You (@TooIntoYou) February 14, 2023

Mary Hayes, who spearheads the #TooIntoYou campaign, says that the signs of abuse are difficult to spot because they've become normalised.

"It sets a precedent for other unhealthy behaviours which can get worse and more dangerous over time.”

Orla O'Connor, the National Women's Council (NWC) director, called for sex education reform in schools in response to the quiz's results. Young men need to know how to act in a healthy relationship as much as young women need to learn how to recognise red flags in them

She adds that there is "a long way to go" in confronting the misogyny among young men that perpetuates this behaviour and the belief that they are entitled to control over women.

Doireaan O'Mahony, barrister, author, and domestic abuse survivor, says that "the Irish as a society have successfully managed to stamp out other socially unacceptable behaviours in the past, but this is one area in which we are repeatedly failing."

#TooIntoYou's pop-up campaign will run until March 8th.

Women's Aid 24hr national freephone helpline: 1-800-341-900 

Also offered is a language line interpretation service and an instant messaging support service.