Mad Hatter: James Kavanagh

Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?

Mike Pence. He seems so bloody dull and boring. And his views are hideous.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?

Enya. Imagine a drunken 5am sing-song with her – heaven.

Favourite saying?

My own: “Put your blinkers on and do your bits.” Basically means ignore what’s going on around you (to an extent) and power through and make your life the best it can be.

Favourite record?

Confessions by Madonna. Such an incredible album.

Favourite book?

The Harry Potter books. Drums up such gorgeous childhood nostalgia.

Favourite film?

As basic as it makes me sound, Titanic. It has it all. And Leo was such a babe in it.

Favourite author?

Probably Stephen King. His books have spawned such amazing films. Misery is just incredible.

Favourite actor / actress?

Goldie Hawn. I adore her spirit.

Favourite musician?

Rihanna. The queen of my life.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?

I wore a giant, stiff jacket with 9-inch platforms (I went through a future-goth fashion phase when I was younger) and was getting on the 16A bus. I lost my balance and fell on my back. I was like a ladybird and couldn’t flip myself over. There was a chorus of manic laughter from a group of lads down the back.

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?

Halloumi. I can’t get enough of the squeaky cheese.

TV programme?

Sex And The City. Such a brilliant show.

Favourite TV personality?

Gemma Collins. She’s non-stop fun.

Favourite item of clothing?

My giant (and I mean GIANT) camouflage coat that says QUEEN in white paint on the back.

Most desirable date?

In a restaurant having a big tasting menu. Somewhere like Forest Avenue would be ideal.

Favourite method of relaxation?

Watching Princess Diana documentaries in bed eating frozen chocolate and drinking tea.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?

Growing up, I always wanted to be an archaeologist.

Biggest thrill?

Lunchtime.

Biggest disappointment?

Buying a cookie or a muffin and then finding out there’s raisins in it.

Your concept of heaven?

Wandering around a farmers market with William (my boyfriend) and dreaming up things to cook with all the fresh produce.

Your concept of hell?

Going on a night out and it starts to rain.

What would be your dying words?

One more gin and tonic... please.

Greatest ambition?

To be content with whatever I have in my life.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?

I’d love to have been part of the French royal court when Marie Antoinette was on the throne. If Sofia Coppola’s film is anything to go by, it would have been gas craic.

If you weren’t a human being which animal would you have chosen to be?

A giant falcon. They are so majestic.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?

I’d go into a frenzy of trying to eat all my favourite foods.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?

Lady Gaga.

Favourite term of abuse?

Scarlet for yer ma for havin ye.

Biggest fear?

Spiders.

Humanity’s most useful invention?

The dishwasher.

Humanity’s most useless invention?

Kitchen equipment / crockery that isn’t suitable for dishwashers.