Foul Play: Top Gun

Who says the FA Cup is dead? As much as I hated losing last year’s Final, it was impossible not to warm to Wigan’s fairytale triumph, and all the evidence from this year’s skirmishes serves to demonstrate that those clubs who de-prioritise the competition are doing themselves a grave disservice.

A classic Sunday-afternoon ding-dong between Arsenal and Liverpool did plenty to raise the blood pressure, and with Jose Mourinho’s forces of darkness having been summarily dismissed by the mighty City a day earlier, it was impossible not to smile at the ever-classy Arsene Wenger having put the Portuguese brat firmly in his place.

Mourinho’s addiction to WWE-style trash-talking is a godsend for journalists: infinitely quotable, perpetually shit-stirring, constantly on the lookout for the next war of words, he appears to fully understand his designated role as pantomime villain and can’t resist hamming it up at every opportunity. But I can’t accept that calling Arsene Wenger a ’specialist in failure’ is acceptable conduct on any level.

The precise extent of Wenger’s greatness is still open to debate, and obviously depends to a huge extent on what happens in the coming years. No trophy since 2005 is obviously less than ideal, and for most of that time-frame, Arsenal’s weaknesses relative to the other heavyweight challengers have been persistent and glaring: dodgy goalkeepers, lightweight defending, a wholly underwhelming record when they engage the other contenders in direct combat, lack of ball-winning steel in midfield, and a disturbing propensity to implode horribly in the biggest matches. The 8-2 shellacking at Old Trafford two seasons ago stands out, but there’s no evidence that the problem has been consigned to the past: already this season, they’ve lost 6-3 at Man City and 5-1 at Liverpool.

By the time you read this, you’ll know how the Gunners have fared in the Champions League first leg against (by far) the competition’s likeliest winners, Bayern Munich: I expect plenty of goals, but most of them will probably be at Wojciech Szczesny’s end. The Gunners are still theoretically firmly in contention for a historic Treble, but they are essentially more or less the same
team they’ve been for the last nine years (different players, same overall character) – and the likeliest scenario is that they will fall short, with maybe the Cup being their best hope of silverware.

Still, none of this for one moment justifies the crassness of Mourinho’s outburst. It wasn’t just nasty, mean-spirited and obnoxiously expressed, it was also very demonstrably wrong. Set aside for a moment the stark fact that Wenger is a gentleman with more class in his toenails than Mourinho could ever dream of, and pause to ponder what Wenger might have achieved if he’d had anything like the Abramovich riches at his disposal.

Sure, there is an argument that, apart from often seeming very reluctant to splash out big bucks on players deemed to be already-established A-listers, he has not always put it to brilliant use when he has spent it. But his talent-spotting and recruitment has been superb, and the stylishness with which his teams perform has to count for something. It is almost impossible to fully convey to younger readers just how much ‘Arsenal’ used to be a byword for ‘bored to death’. Even in their strongest incarnations. George Graham’s crew, champions in 1989 and 1991, were a case in point.

In fairness, the 1989 vintage wasn’t totally unwatchable, with Paul Merson one of the genuinely great entertainers. But by 1991, the formula (which can be summarised as ‘get an early goal, lock the door and win 1-0’) had become so suffocatingly dull as to beggar belief, and it stayed that way until Wenger’s appointment in early 1996. Within two years, he had created an absolutely wonderful team that not only beat all comers but invariably did so in swashbuckling style. Double triumphs in ’98 and 2002 were followed by perhaps his greatest creation, the 2004 ‘Invincibles’ who managed to win the title without losing a single game, a feat of such preposterous difficulty in modern football that its magnitude remains near-impossible to fully comprehend.

These extraordinary accomplishments were delivered without spending especially obscene sums of money – in fact, Wenger has always appeared to take special pride in sourcing obscure talents for relatively tiny transfer fees – and in terms of pure entertainment, the Gunners have consistently provided a virtual guarantee of excitement for neutral viewers. A man who has so single-handedly changed the culture of a club and built his own empire surely has earned every right to run the ship as he sees fit.

Although the nine-year trophy drought shouldn’t be overlooked, the reality is that in terms of financial muscle, Arsenal have consistently lagged behind United, Chelsea (and latterly City). Taking into account every available indicator of expenditure on wages, salaries etc, the truth is that they have actually been over-achieving for most of those nine years, reaching the Champions League season after season. Consistently finishing third or fourth may not in itself raise the hairs on the back of one’s neck, but it’s an achievement that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Indeed, the surest way to spot someone who hasn’t got a clue about football is to find out whether he/she belongs to the ‘Wenger Must Go’ camp. The virtues of his comparative financial prudence cannot be overstated: unlike City and Chelsea (who are wholly dependent on the largesse of rich owners), or United (who are up to their necks in debt courtesy of the Glazers’ dubious takeover), the Gunners are in a uniquely healthy financial position, perfectly equipped to survive unscathed from what may yet be an imminent global financial Armageddon that will render multimillion- pound transfer deals a thing of the past.

Arsenal are as blessed to have Wenger now as they were in 2004, and even if Bayern have hammered them 5-0 by the time you read this, that will remain the case. And across town in west London, Jose Mourinho may well be a manager of extraordinary qualities in his own right, but his declaration that Wenger is a ’specialist in failure’ is unquestionably the stupidest observation delivered by any football manager since Glenn Hoddle offered the opinion that disabled people are paying for sins committed in a previous lifetime.

Irrespective of where this season’s trophies end up, the Professor has won this little war of words game, set and match.