The Sex O'Clock News

Legalised sex trade in Taiwan?
On February 2, activists and prostitutes met with Taiwan’s presidential candidates. Under Taiwan’s existing laws, prostitutes, but not their patrons, are punished for engaging in the sex trade. The organisation is planning to take to the streets on 7th February to demand more lenient laws and rights for sex workers.

The Texas Porn Store Massacre
Pastor Jim Norwood of Kennedale, Texas has found a unique way to get his wayward flock to church. He’s been photographing their cars outside the local porn shop and then mailing them a note along with a picture of their car parked on the forbidden ground. The note says: “Observed you in the neighbourhood. Didn’t know if you were aware there is a church in the area. Please stop by next time. We’d love to have you visit.” In these economically repressed times, I’m sure the porn shop wouldn’t object to Pastor Jim paying them a visit either.

Stimulation for Eyes and Ears

Web
Want to know what other people get up to? Check out www.all-free-sex-stories.com. It ain’t literature, but amusing nonetheless. I am slightly disturbed by the guy who thought ten minutes was a record though… For someone with a lot more staying power, have a look at My Secret Life. First published in 1888 and banned numerous times, My Secret Life is the supposedly true sexual history of Walter, and details the erotic potential in everything from armpits to urine. The full text is available on www.my-secret-life.info.

Movies
One for the Goths this week. If you’re looking for something a little different, check out Salvation Films. Salvation has a number of sub-companies that distribute the rather classic X-rated movies from the 1950, hardcore porn, fetish titles, Japanese erotica and horror. Sex, death, vampires and killer nuns, perfect for Valentine’s Day. Available from www.salvation-films.com.

Sexton’s Miscellany. Sex Myths

Men have a higher sex drive than women
No. Studies show that men and women have pretty equal sex drives. Those who think otherwise are advised to cut out and keep the sex tips featured here every fortnight.

Pregnancy prevention
Having sex standing up, taking a pee or jumping up and down straight afterwards cannot prevent pregnancy. A trip to a family-planning clinic or chemist is far more effective. Use a condom!

Old people don’t have sex
Afraid not. None of us like to think of our parents shagging, but what about our grandparents? Studies reveal that plenty of people up to their 90s enjoy sex on a regular basis, especially if they have had regular sex throughout most of their lives. It seems to be a case of “use it or lose it”.

Quotable Quotes
“The difference between pornography and erotic is lighting.” – Gloria Leonard

“My husband’s German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me.” – Bette Midler

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.” – Henry Miller

“I consider sex a misdemeanour, the more I miss, de meaner I get.” – Mae West

“Cunnilingus is next to godliness.” – Kali Nichta

“I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.” – Woody Allen

Music
As a long time fan of Nitzer Ebb, Phil Kieran’s remix of the wondrous ‘Murderous’ gets my vote as the antidote to all the Valentine’s mush you’ll be exposed to this fortnight. Those of you who wish to get cosy and lurvy, should note that Norah Jones’ new album, Feels Like Home, is out on 9 February.

This issue's sex tip
Girls who have difficulty bringing their men to orgasm with a blowjob should try the following tricks:
• Make sure he’s well and truly aroused before venturing south. By the time you get around to putting his penis in your mouth, he should be so aroused that he’s not able to last very long.
• Use your mouth at the top of the penis and your hand on the shaft. Lubricate the shaft with plenty of saliva or vaginal juices. Use a finger from the other hand in the anus, and gently caress his balls with your thumb. All this added stimulus is much more successful than the standard deep-throat technique.
• For the truly lazy only: Tell your bloke it’s a turn-on to watch him masturbate. Then when he’s close to orgasm, you can finish him off. Voila!