Electric Picnic preview: The essential picnic

Like complaining about the weather in summer for being too hot, it’s possible to criticise the Electric Picnic line up for being too strong. Where are you supposed to find the time to go exploring around the rest of the festival?
Rest assured, those who manage to tear themselves away from the lure of the live music will have plenty of options for a spiritual recharge or cultural mind-expansion. Or Tommy Tiernan making crude jokes.
Body & Soul Village
Find your inner hippychick/chap at the Body & Soul Village, which contains everything from head massages to an acoustic tent.
Said tent, open from 8pm, will no doubt feature some impromptu jamming sessions – perhaps from some of the acts playing the main stages. Plus there’ll be a chance for all to join in, whether playing spoons or singing. Or both, from the more talented.
Or indulge yourself another way – the food and drink stalls will please the health-conscious and hungry alike. Try the organic vegetarian sushi, a healthy breakfast or go to the chill out tent for some tea, coffee and cakes. For the more adventurous, the Body & Soul area will have its own cocktail bar that will give you an alternative kind of a kick. But if it’s peace and relaxation you’re after, the village will host up to 50 therapists, offering treatments like reflexology, shiatsu, reiki and Indian head massages. The cost is €20 per half-hour treatment or €40 for an hour, and you’ll be able to book from the reception tents which are in front of each marquee. Tarot readers will also be on hand to reveal your future – but they’ll have their own separate area and booking system.
The Body & Soul Village itself will be decorated with flowers, crystals and candles, making you feel a world away from the hubbub of the main stage. And best of all, it’s open to campers til 2am.
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Silent Disco
A contradiction in terms, you say? Wait until you try it, is the reply. The Silent Disco, an idea that was and could only have been born in the Netherlands, is the newest festival craze.
The idea is this: one tent, a bunch of wireless headphones, a bunch of punters, all tuned into the same frequency emitted by the DJ on stage. For the onlooker, it’s an odd sight to see a roomful of people dancing like crazy when there’s complete silence. For the participant, it’s a chance to join a disco with a difference.
And just to add even more madness to the mix, the organisers, 433fm.com, will introduce two DJs who’ll go head to head for the crowd’s attention.
The Double Digital Silent Disco is, to use the technical term, completely mental.
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Comedy Tent
MC-ed by Des Bishop, the weekend line-up looks like this:
Saturday:
Tommy Tiernan
Des Bishop
Bernard O’ Shea
Karl Spain
Neil Delamere
David O’Doherty
Gerry Mallon
Dave McSavage
Sunday:
Tommy Tiernan
Des Bishop
Joe Rooney
Jason Byrne
PJ Gallagher
Maeve Higgins
Tommy Nicholson
Adam Hills
Brendan Burke
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Lost Vagueness
The Irish rock festival is not always a glamorous realm. Away from the music, things can turn a little grim.
There are gaudy funfairs, burger vans and clothing stalls where ageing eco-warriors with names like ‘Smudgy’ look forward to flogging you love-beads and temporary tattoos. The portaloo queue seems, by comparison, almost tempting.
Tricked out like a giggly riff on red-light Paris, 1911, Lost Vagueness aims to coax a little weirdness into the festival-goer’s day. Exactly how it plans on achieving this is not so easily explained.
“Trying to describe Lost Vagueness is like trying to describe how it feels to be drunk,” says Debra Burke, who runs the Lost Vagueness company in London.
The intention is to transport visitors to a brighter, stranger place – a retro wonderland populated by vaudeville dancers, camp croupiers and penguin-suited butlers.
Within the Lost Vagueness arena, there will be a silver service dining area, a casino and a chapel, where, should you tire of listening to Kraftwerk, a ‘vicar’ will conduct marriage ceremonies. We’re not in Stradbally anymore, Toto.
“We’ve been bringing Lost Vagueness to Glastonbury for six years now. Our intention is to inject a note of glamour into festivals,” says Burke. “We want to give people a different experience – usually it’s rubbish burger bars and crap stalls as far as you can see.”
To draw you deeper into the illusion, guests are expected to dress up. Costumes are provided and if you feel thrillingly stupid trussed up like a refugee from a Dadaist bordello, congratulations. You’re probably doing something right.
“Honestly, we can’t tell who is a performer and who isn’t,” says Burke. “ You couldn’t make up the things our guests get up to. No one would believe you. We are constantly amazed.”
This will be the first time Lost Vagueness ventures beyond Britain with its sleazed-up decadence.
“It isn’t a show where you just sit there and watch people performing on a stage. There’s a huge interactive element. At Lost Vagueness, the real stars are the public,” concludes Burke.
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Getting there
By car: From Dublin, take N7 from Dublin to Portlaoise, then N80 to Stradbally which is about 10 mins drive. From Galway, take N6 to Portumna, then R489 to Birr, N62 to Roscrea, N7 to Portlaoise, N80 to Stradbally. From Limerick, take N7 to Portlaoise and then N80 to Stradbally. From Cork, take N8 to Portloaise and then N80 to Stradbally.
By bus: JJ Kavanagh’s will provide a nationwide bus service from Dublin, Cork, Limerick, Waterford, Galway, Dundalk, Drogheda and Sligo. Tickets need to be bought in advance. More information is available from 01 679 1549.
By train: Telephone 1850 366222 or view www.irishrail.ie for more information from Iarnrod Eireann.
Tickets
At the time of going to press, tickets are still available. They cost €62.50 for one day; €105 for two days without camping; and €135 for two days with camping. All prices include booking fee and are available from outlets nationwide, www.ticketmaster.ie, or from the credit card hotline on 0818 719 300.Telephone or internet bookings are subject to a €5.95 service charge, and with agents, a handling charge of €2 per ticket.
Car parking
A number of day and weekend car parks will be provided. Access to the weekend car park will only be available until 11am on Saturday September 3. After that you will be directed to the day car parks. All car parks will be well signposted on the respective roads.
Entry
Gates open at 1pm on Saturday September 3, and midday on Sunday September 4. The festival is strictly an over 18s event. And if they ask for ID, the only forms accepted are your passport, driver’s licence or a Garda ID Card, so make sure you bring it with you.
Drink
In addition to the drinking water points and soft drinks available, there will also be a beer and wine bar. Plus a special treat for grape enthusiasts – a separate wine stall where you can sample and purchase the finest wines known to humanity. Probably.
Food
Making a change from the hot dog/burger binges that festivals usually entail, the Electric Picnic has a healthy eating policy. On offer will be organic crepes and paninis, Mexican food, Middle Eastern and Moroccan cuisine, freshly squeezed fruit juices and smoothies, sushi, a barbeque and plenty of options for veggies.
Sleeping arrangements
Darn it – the beach huts and tipis available for hire are all sold out. But if camping in tents is too passé, be the first in Ireland to try out the Podpad – a wooden, er, doghouse type thing, which is pre-decorated and features a groundsheet, carpet, shelving, lights and a lock on the front door. A snip at just under €300 for the whole festival.