The Improvement Course

But rather than allow the truth to get in the way of a bit of mischief we asked various folks to give Gerry some tips which might help him achieve ever higher standards.
Ed Darragh, producer of 2TV: "First of all, Gerry needs a decent salary to give him a bit of motivation. I also think that a session with a good broadcast psychologist would help his self-confidence and make him more assertive. He should realise that the show is just a stepping stone to better things and he needs to be patient and wait for the big break to come. He could do worse than have as his role model somewhere like Charlie Landsborough who didn't achieve overnight success either."
Kevin Hough, star of The Lyrics Board, and a presenter on Radio 1: "Leather underwear. He should wear leather underwear, preferably outside his trousers to show he's got real balls."
Jim Lockhart, producer of the Dave Fanning Rock Show and the 2FM Hotline: “Gerry should introduce a Thought For The Day spot. It could be called 'Talking To God On the Big White Telephone', sponsored by Armitage Shanks. Since RTE has to show balance, there could also be a Bad Thought For The Day Spot. That could be sponsored by Playboy magazine, or maybe by Hot Press.”
Ian Demdsey, 2FM colleague: "He needs to get a haircut. Pony-tails don't work on the radio, and he also needs to step up those visits to the gym."
John Clarke, producer of the 2FM Breakfast Show: "I'd start by introducing the Angelus into the show. That would certainly improve his standing in the Ballyfermot area. Equally he could broaden his career options and become an auctioneer on the Late Late Show."
Tony Fenton, 2FM colleague: "Gerry seriously needs to start hanging out with some real people, like Brendan O'Carroll, Simon Young, Dustin, and so on, to give him a sense of humour. He would have more street cred if he didn't pronounce his this. When he's sorted out all that, all he has to do then is to dress a little better."