The Five Year Engagement

Sex columnist Dan Savage once spoke of ‘The Price of Admission’ in relationships, i.e. – the irritating things and bad habits that you have to put up with in order to be with the person you love. After all, he mused, “there is no settling down without some settling for.”
I love Emily Blunt. I love Jason Segal. And I so wanted to love The Five Year Engagement. In my vision of it as ‘The One’ - the romantic comedy I’ve been waiting to surrender my heart to - it would be heartfelt, hilarious, challenging, kinky and with some tear-jerking deep and meaningful conversations along the way.
And it’s so close.
In this Nicholas Stoller and Segal-penned tale of a difficult engagement, the leads remain utterly charming through meet-cute costume parties, elaborate grand gestures and realistic moral dilemmas. There’s a gorgeous, Van Morrison-heavy soundtrack, Alison Brie giving relationship advice in the voice of Elmo, and Segal’s masterful delivery of completely relatable emotions via absurdly illogical statements. “I just need to be alone right now,” he sulks to an obediently exiting Blunt. “But don’t go!”
Alas, for every decent laugh there’s five lacklustre ones, provided by far too many rude family members and quirky ethically-diverse caricatures. And though it tackles some very realistic relationship problems such as cheating, careers and sacrificing your passion for your partner, overwrought metaphors about stale doughnuts diminish the subtlety. Also, it goes on far too long.
But at least it tries. The Five Year Engagement is the Nice Guy of films: smart, kind, treats you well. But the Price of Admission - not enough passion or challenge - is a little too high. It’s the film you date before ‘The One’, and thank for showing you what you really wanted.