SAVED

Marketed in America last May as the anti-Passion of the Christ, in truth, Saved isn’t quite potent enough to be an antidote to any Mel movie, let alone his recent scourge-tastic efforts. Less Life Of Brian than Mean Girls taking a naughty pop-socked sideswipe at Christian fundamentalism, this (nonetheless) entertaining snigger at America’s creepiest heartlands comes with the blessing (and production credit) of REM’s tofu-scoffing, right-on ideologue, Michael Stipe. You could probably guess as much. The sweet satire targets religious hypocrisy, not Christian ideals, so it’s a rather tolerant why-can’t-we-all-get-along? affair when American Evangelism is surely due a lampooning Deicidal jackboot. Still, there’s plenty of incidental Simpson-ian humour (check out the Emmanuel shooting range for teenage girls with its ‘Eye for an Eye’ logo) and god-teasing antics to give cheer.
Set in the fascistically named American Eagle High School - a cauldron of Jesus-freakery where folks pray with Johnny Ramone earnestness to “Keep our President safe” - Saved centres on the prophetically named Mary (Malone). When her boyfriend (Faust) suspects that he’s fallen victim to the tragic disease known as homosexuality, Mary is inspired by a vision of Christ to convert him by offering up her intact hymen for the Lord’s work. In her chaste haste to fuck for Jesus, Mary forgets all about her youthful firing ovaries, so she gets knocked up and her still-gay cherry picker winds up in creepy Christian rehab to be ‘cured’.
Of course, a playground dominated by passive-aggressive religious girls and a trendy pastor (Donovan) given to toe-curling down-with-the-kids exclamations (“Jesus is in the House, y’all”) is no place for a pregnant teen. Suddenly, the newly bulging Mary finds herself ostracised by her god-bothering peers and Mandy Moore’s magnificently horrid Bible bashing bitch. With nowhere respectable to turn, our sullied heroine takes refuge among the High School untermenschen including a booze-swilling anarchic Jewish hussy (the superb Amurri) and a much patronised paraplegic (Culkin).
Saved soon settles into a familiar teen movie rhythm, but the occasional jabs at scary US religiosity and a brace of spirited performances distinguish the film from Praeterite genre fodder. Malone in particular is divinely vulnerable and any chance to see Welcome To The Dollhouse’s Heather Matarazzo again must surely warrant Hallelujahs. Granted, Saved may not represent a full-scale Battle Royale between ideology and humanism, but the mannered approach does have the advantage of not alienating polyester-clad proselytisers, who after all, could benefit most from the film’s plea for tolerance. Hopefully they can all make it along between vigorous bouts of prayer for victory to the Christian West.