Monsters University

Directed by Dan Scanlon. Featuring the voices of Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Helen Mirren, Nathan Fillion. 110 mins.

Pixar, Pixar, Pixar. What has happened to you? You used to be top of the class! Straight A’s! But standards are slipping, aren’t they?
First of all there was that horrific Cars 2 incident, but we blamed that on that awful Larry The Cable Guy kid from around the corner – we always knew he was trouble. Then with Brave we thought you were getting back on track, but it really didn’t fulfil all of your incredible potential, did it? And now with Monsters University it’s clear that you’re determined to stay on the path of sheer mediocrity.
Because why else would you put out such an uninspiring prequel? Sure, Billy Crystal and John Goodman are great as ever as Mike and Sully, and the idea of them being warring students forced to band together to earn their spot at Scare College is nice. But you stole the idea for the monsters’ Scare Tournament from Harry Potter, didn’t you Pixar? And you got very lazy with your supporting characters, none of whom have the heart-melting emotional impact of Boo. Frankly, it feels like Disney wrote the entire thing for you, because there’s none of that Pixar subversion, pop culture commentary or biting wit that we know and love. It’s just a bunch of tired formulas and safe, forgettable jokes. Yes, we did see that you’ve been working on your animation, and the light is beautiful. But the light doesn’t bring this up to scratch, now does it? No.
We’re not mad at you. Honestly, we’re not. We’re just, well, disappointed.