MADE IN AMERICA..

Seducing Whoopi Goldberg, Ten Danson remarks: "I don't mean to be crass, but my sperm has been in your body." Crass is hardly the word. Since the stars are now an item, one assumes that Danson's off screen patter was a little better than that with which the scriptwriters have saddled him.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think sperm mixes well with romantic screwball comedy. Neither is it the ideal forum for social comment, which loads the odds against this trite but well meaning movie from the word go. Sarah (Whoopi) has a teenage daughter Zara (Nia Long), conceived by artificial insemination. Zara decided to track down her father, the donor, and is as shocked as he and Whoopi to discover he is a red-neck Texan auto salesman (guess who).

Made In America makes only the most obvious race observations and resolves the issues without much ado and with all the usual soppy homilies to family values. It has its moments (light and undemanding ones) but most of the chemistry between Danson and Goldberg must have taken place offscreen. It is hard to believe that he gave up Cheers for this cheerless crap.