- 20 Aug 19
Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
Donald Trump – the joke is over. He would just ruin everything, no craic!
Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
Stephen Fry: I love him. I’d say I might feel a bit stupid or inadequate, but I bet he would make you feel smart. You’d want to write your own book by the end of his visit.
“I never started anything I was good at.” Leonardo Di Vinci (apparently).
Tubular Bells – it’s my fathers and I’ve spent nights listening to it on repeat. If I’m in the mood for it, it’s the best thing, but it’s not something that fits every occasion. For that, I’d put on Paul Simon’s Graceland – a banger!
Dune by Frank Herbert. I love how expansive it is – it was my first real dive into science fiction. I always have a sci-fi book on the go.
The Life Of Brian stands tall today. I love people taking the piss out of religion.
Roald Dahl – timeless, weird, dark and hopeful!
Favourite actor / actress?
Currently it’s John C. Reilly. Gas, I’d love to go for a picnic with him. I’d say you wouldn’t even get the sandwiches eaten, you’d either be laughing or crying. He’s got skills.
Someone you should check out: MC GAFF-E. Someone Irish and mad craic: Post Punk Podge and the Techno Hippies. And I’m always mad for a bit of Paul Simon or David Bowie… that’s four, but it’s not a simple question.
Most embarrassing moment of your life?
You are not getting that juice – you haven’t even bought me a drink.
I’m not telling you everything, but I’ll tell you some food I like: fresh mackerel, new potatoes, butter and beans from the garden. But I could go on all day about food. I enjoy drinks and stimulants too.
Right now I’m loving Derry Girls. I re-watch Alan Partridge, Curb and Arrested Development quite a bit, and I’m looking forward to Aisling Bea’s creation, This Way Up.
Favourite TV personality?
Alan Partridge – I know he’s a character but he is also real!
Favourite item of clothing?
I have A LOT of clothes and I enjoy them, but my favourite is a Korean satin blue and yellow jacket, with Korean-style prints of animals on it.
Most desirable date?
There wouldn’t be very much to the date, but loads of sex.
Creation, seeing your vision come to life. Or getting ready to go to a good party – that’s always the craic.
People dying, it’s shite!
Your concept of heaven?
A party with constant creativity and love and dancing and amazing food and connected to all of it.
Your concept of hell?
Confusion and not being able to do anything about it, having no control, and not in a fun party way but in a sad way… Getting skinned alive seems pretty bad too, but losing my grip and fucking shit up is pretty upsetting.
What would be your dying words?
Depends who they are to – if it’s the funeral director, I’d tell him to fuck off, he’s early.
Make as many people laugh as possible, through live stuff, film and TV, but just to get as good as I can at doing that.
Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
I have a few, and I often think about it – I’m a secret/not that secret history nerd. It would have a pretty static top three, but ancient Greece – specifically Athens around the 5th century BC – is always top, I wanna know what their everyday chats were like – and their parties!
If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be?
One that doesn’t get killed by people… if you were lucky enough, I’d like to be a bonobo or a dolphin.
If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
Go to where my family are as quick as possible, turn on some music and dance.
Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Prince – I know he’s dead, but he always looked amazing.
Favourite term of abuse?
Ya thick! That’s a clean one that always makes me laugh.
Waking up with no way to communicate, completely paralysed, blind but totally aware... I don’t dwell on it or any fear, but when I think about that, it scares the shit out of me.
Humanity’s most useful invention?
It’s overused but the combustion engine… ever tried to cut down a tree without a chainsaw… or flying? I know fossil fuels are wrecking the gaff and we need radical change, but it doesn’t take away from the brilliance of the engine, it hasn’t massively changed since it was invented.
Humanity’s most useless invention?
Brexit – it’s stupid and based on elitist ideology. Nothing practical, just bullshit.
• Lords Of Strut play Electric Picnic, Stradbally, August 30-September 1. They also perform their show, Champions Of Dance, at the Abbey Theatre, Dublin from September 7-14 as part of the Dublin Fringe Festival. Tickets are available from fringefest.com