Lemming

The boss’ mobile rings at an already awkward dinner party “One of your WHORES?” shrieks wronged wife, Charlotte Rampling. The hosts, young suburbanites Laurent Lucas and Charlotte Gainsbourg, are already having problems with a lemming, stuck in their sink pipe, for some sort of allegorical purpose. Then Charlotte Rampling hits on Lucas with Gloria Swanson aplomb. (How many times has this woman said or implied the words “Do you want to fuck me?” in her career? Let’s invent a drinking game!) Then, a small mammals boffin turns up to explain the migration patterns of lemmings. Then Ms. Rampling commits suicide and M. Lucas begins to hallucinate all sorts of rubbish. Then her widower has a go at Charlotte Gainsbough. Or – cue spooky music – does he?
Oh, I get it. It’s like Scary Movie, except it’s French Movie, a hilarious parody of modern Gallic cinema. This is genius. I particularly liked the swarms of small arctic rodents in the kitchen and the really pretentious bits with ghosts. Are the Zuckers down as producers? Is Anna Faris in it?
Erm, no actually. It says here on the director’s statement that Lemming is ‘a long voyage through troubled waters’ in the style of Fellini’s Satyricon. It also says he mostly listened to Ligeti’s ‘Continuum’ while writing the screenplay. These are not the actions of a proper spoofer. This is all meant to be funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha. Oh dear.