IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU (Directed by Andrew Bergman. Starring Nicholas Cage, Bridget Fonda, Rosie Perez)

When a film is described as Capra-esque, it usually means it is time to pass the vomit bag, as few directors can handle whimsical comic positivism with the confident verve of the old master. And what do you know, Andrew Bergman isn’t one of them. This Capra-esque tale of charity and generosity is just too full of human goodness to be true – even though it claims to be just that. Its the kind of movie it is wise not to see on a full stomach. Just think of the dry cleaning bills.

Nicholas Cage’s off the wall comic gifts are wasted in the square cut role of a cop with a lottery ticket, who has no money for a tip and so promises to split any winnings with a big-hearted waitress (Bridget Fonda). When he goes on to win millions, his mean, money-grasping wife (Rosie Perez) proves none-too-pleased with the arrangement. All my sympathies were with Rosie, who at least invigorates her part with some inspired comedy. The two stars insipid portrayals of do-gooders makes for an extremely lacklustre romance, and the role of The New York Post in elevating them to national heroes comes over almost as a promotional campaign for the tabloids.

Frankly, people this nice deserve to have bad stuff happen to them. Why do they have to foist their happiness on the rest of us? A shamelessly manipulative, terminally dull, drably presented attempt to make a feelgood film just like they used to. Frank Capra ought to come back from the dead, track down the film-makers and rip their hearts out for making his name so synonomous with lazy tripe. And hey, at least that would make an interesting movie.