Guess what? Women love sex, but not the “I can time the foreplay and here goes the missionary again” type of yesteryear. Oh no, now it’s more like try anything once, twice if you like it! And there’s so much fun stuff to try.
The sex industry is a changin’. Women are taking over, and sex lives all over the country are being spiced up no end. Sex shops have gone from back alley to high street (O’Connell Street to be more precise). It’s not just hen and stag parties buying up the gear either; everyone’s at it.
According to a recent survey, almost half of Irish women have at least one adult toy to play with. But with so much to choose from, where are we to start? How about porn and vibrators?
Too long have men been hiding their porn stash under beds and in cupboards. Lads, the time has come to get it out and share. No more sitting around with the girls sniggering about full frontals in The Lovers Guides. We’re all grown up now and have realised that porn is great for getting in the mood, especially as something’s been done about the dodgy music and the mullets!
When watching porn with a partner for the first time, though, it might not be the best idea to whip out the hardcore stuff. Instead, start with something that has a bit of a storyline (yes, it does exist). You see Debbie can still do Dallas: she just does it a little more tastefully these days, and in Gucci.
What took the makers of vibrators so long to realise that the penis isn’t the sexist thing to look at when attached to a bloke, so why would you want it moulded from plastic and buzzing loudly?
Only new to the vibrator scene, a friend insisted on buying me a pocket-sized version for my last birthday. I was shocked by the improvements. Now that women design them, they come in all shapes and sizes, some so pretty they could be used as ornaments.
However, for those of you who wish to stay true to the original design, the rampant rabbit gets the thumbs-up every time! But sisters are no longer just doing it for themselves. Many a sex life has been transformed by using a vibrator with your partner. Now there’s a Christmas pressie worth buying: all the pleasure without any of the hard work!
The sex industry was tottering along just fine – but now that women are involved it’s become more glamorous and accessible. To update the famous Jerry Hall quote, women are now more prepared to be whores, not just in the bedroom, but in the kitchen, living room and any other room you care to mention. Let’s rejoice at all the goodies on the market and how much fun we’ll all have using them.
Don’t forget some girls will… especially if it’s going to be worth our while.