Chernobyl Diaries

There’s a Jimmy Carr joke that goes “It’s been over twenty years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is anyone else disappointed that there’s still no superheroes?”
Frankly, I’m more surprised there haven’t been more feature films. Note: surprised, not disappointed. The Chernobyl disaster seems rife with cinematic possibilities, from devastating emotional drama to dystopian horror. But given the weightiness of the subject matter, it would have to be handled with intelligence and sensitivity; qualities increasingly lacking in American film-making today, which is why I’m glad filmmakers gave Chernobyl a respectfully wide berth.
Until, of course, producer Oren Peli got bored and decided to make a sort of Paranormal Radioactivity.
A painfully formulaic horror that’s low on both scares and a point, Chernobyl Diaries sees a group of typically attractive, typically one-dimensional, typically poorly-acted young tourists take an unauthorised tour of Prypiat. Shot on-location, the setting is literally the most effective aspect of the horror, as director Bradley Parker brilliantly utilises eerily abandoned streets, homes and fairgrounds. Though he relies on obvious cliché – of course there are creepy dolls – the empty city holds the same unsettling atmosphere as an evacuated London did in 28 Days Later, but with a far more powerful emotional punch due to its truth.
Which brings me on to the moral quandary of the film: colour me oversensitive, but if you’re going to make a film set in Chernobyl, you better be respectful as hell, have something to say, and say it well. Peli fails on all counts. The dull reveal is unimaginative and straddles a line between “uncomfortable” and “downright offensive”, and is never portrayed intelligently or even scarily. All tension-free violence and deaths happen off-screen, and the irritating shaky-cam fails to compensate for the lack of emotion, motivation or original ideas. Parker is using Chernobyl merely as a gimmicky selling-point for yet another ineffective horror. Forgive me for thinking that that’s a pretty poisonous attitude.