This Sporting Life: Kenneth Egan Shares his Mental Health Battle

Kenneth Egan knows only too well that he’s lucky to be alive. He decided not to discuss the issue in his autobiography, but the Olympic silver medalist told me something he’d never uttered to a soul before – that he had seriously contemplated suicide.

He’s not the only sports star who has wrestled with the Black Dog. Eamonn Coghlan became so depressed that he felt like driving into the River Liffey. World boxing champion Steve Collins, meanwhile, confessed that he went off the rails for a period after retiring. Ex-Liverpool and Ireland star Jason McAteer revealed on The Late Late Show recently that he too had suffered from depression after retiring from football.

Not every sports star has bounced back from mental health problems. Olympic bronze medallist Darren Sutherland, who had turned pro after the Olympics, sadly took his life in 2009. Sometimes, people really don’t know where to go or who to turn to.

“I’ll Be Dead In A Few Years”

Kenny Egan now prefers to be called Kenneth to indicate that he has opened up a new chapter in his life. You can understand why he wants to move on. He confides that his suicidal thoughts became so persistent that he contemplated jumping off the West-Link Bridge.

“I was thinking of jumping off that a few times,” he tells me. “And then, thinking about my family, I was saying to myself, ‘I couldn’t be so selfish’.”

There was a lot of hype and nonsense in the media about Egan, who was accused in the tabloids of being a so-called ‘sex addict’, after he was caught literally with his pants down in photos he posted on the website Tagged.com a few years back. “I’m not a sex addict!” he laughs now. “Fame is powerful and of course I got sucked into that – I thought I was a celebrity for a while.”

Egan’s mother feared for his life because of his heavy boozing – which ultimately gave rise to a deep depression.

“I had suicidal thoughts because of alcohol,” he explains. “The depths of despair. The fear. The anxiety. I was thinking, ‘Jesus Christ! Why am I putting myself through this?’ Then I’d get up out of bed, brush my teeth and go back out on the drink to make myself more relaxed again. It was like Groundhog Day for a couple of weeks at a time.” Kenneth made the conscious decision to seek help after his mother dragged him – still “shaking from the drink” – to visit her other two sons’ graves. They had died as infants: one contracted meningitis at around 12 months; the other was a cot death at only four or five months. Standing by the grave, she told Kenneth she didn’t want a third son dying prematurely.

“I said enough’s enough,” recalls Egan. “I thought, ‘I can’t keep doing this or I’ll be dead in a few years’.”

Kenneth Egan was as good as his word. Now 34-years-old, the pugilist – once described as the greatest fighter of his generation with an unprecedented 10 consecutive Irish champion medals – has turned his life around. He’s been sober for over 60 months and mentors younger boxers.

He has also got involved in politics, joining Fine Gael in 2012. He was elected as a councillor; now, he has his eyes on a seat in the Dáil.

“Some Of Them Struggle To Cope”

Canice Kennedy is a full-time sports psychologist based in Cork and Dublin; he lectures in sport psychology at University College Cork (UCC). Canice has worked with players and teams from a wide range of sports and has prepared athletes for the Olympics, as well working with injured rugby players and the Cork camogie team.

It might be thought that there is a link between the highs of sporting success and the lows of depression. However, this is not a view to which Canice subscribes.

“What you describe amongst elite athletes does happen, but it is not normal,” he says. “To be quite frank, the issues you’re talking about I’d come across very rarely in sport. When you retire from your sport – whether it be enforced early or whether you retire in mid-thirties – there is a gap in your life. And there’s no doubt that there’s an important part of your life that’s gone. But it does not necessarily lead to depression.”

So what does lead to mental health problems for peoole leaving sport behind?

“There are number of factors,” says Kennedy. “The biggest issues for some sports is enforced early retirement, without a full career. Somebody who gets an injury at 24 or 25 has to retire – that’s when mental health issues become a problem.”

Missing the adrenaline of sport and being out of the public limelight can affect people. But again, Canice doesn’t believe this will cause depression. But there is another issue: how will the athlete make a living once their sporting days are numbered?

“Different athletes have different pressures,” says Canice, “and all of the men you’ve talked about may not have made sufficient money from their athletic career to sustain them. There’s all sort of doubts, like how are they going to generate income? Can they go back into regular employment? There are pressures on the economic and social as well the emotional level.”

Kennedy suggests that retiring from sport is not hugely different from retiring at 65.

“If you talk about people who retire from their job at 65,” he says, “having been working full time most of their lives, some of them struggle to cope. They find it difficult getting used to not having a place to go every day. It’s very similar for an athlete.”

“I Couldn’t Sleep At Night”

A career change was at the root of Eamonn Coghlan’s mental health crisis. Now a Senator, Coghlan was one of the most successful indoor athletes ever, earning the appelation “Master of the Boards” on the circuit in the US. He says that his biggest mistake was returning to Dublin to take up a job offer. He had agreed to become the CEO of BLÉ, which caused friction amongst its members, who felt that his appointment was being pushed upon them by the then sports minister, Frank Fahey.

“They made it difficult for me right from the start,” recalls Coghlan. “I got the daggers in my back. Some of the powers-that-be in my sport wanted to screw me into the ground and show me up. They came after me politically. During that period, I went into a dark, depressive hole, which I had never experienced in my life. I’d be an emotional and sensitive kind of guy.”

The pressure became so bad that suicidal thoughts ran through his mind. “I was going to their board meetings,” he recalls, “and I was so scared thinking, ‘What’s going to happen here tonight?’ I was driving along the River Liffey worried and I thought, ‘Jesus Christ! I feel like driving in here’. I wasn’t going to drive in, but I felt like it because they had depressed me so much with their political tactics.”

In the end, Eamonn quit the gig and sought professional help. “I couldn’t sleep at night and when I did fall asleep I couldn’t get up in the mornings,” he recalled. “I literally cried in the bed. The doctor told me, ‘You’re like a guy coming back from the war where you need to be put asleep for a long time and give your brain a rest. You’ve come off your career high and you’re now dealing with these various issues and you’re mentally burnt out. But don’t let these people drag you down anymore’.”

Coghlan eventually turned his life around and was appointed a Senator by Enda Kenny. He remains one of the greatest Irish athletes of all time.

“I Went Through The Mill”

Steve Collins – who appeared in U2’s video for ‘The Sweetest Thing – also found life difficult after retiring. He landed himself in hot water several times: he was accused of assault on a couple of occasions, and an interim barring order was sought by his ex-wife and imposed by the courts. Along the way, he was also accused of shoplifting. “I went through the mill,” he confesses. “I was upset because everything I treasured and worked for was taken away from me. I felt like I was stabbed in the back.” Thankfully Steve too has found inner peace since moving to the UK and remarrying, and starting an acting career.

“The most important thing in life is health and I’m very healthy and very happy now,” he says.

“Retirement Is Such A Vital Factor”

Depression, Candice Kennedy says, has become less of a taboo subject in recent years.

“There’s no doubt that there have been mental health issues in sport for many years. We have had people experiencing depression and all the rest – but nobody ever spoke about it.

“The great thing about the culture at the moment is that we talk about mental health. Many sportsmen have come out and said, ‘You know something? I had an issue’. And they’re more than willing to talk. It’s fantastic that it’s in the public domain now.

“People – young people in particular – can look at Jason McAteer and think, ‘My God! Here’s him talking about it. Maybe I should talk to somebody. I’m not abnormal. I‘m feeling normal things’. We’re becoming more and more aware of mental health issues.”

What type of advice would Candice give to people who are involved in sports?

“A wise man once said that retirement is such a vital factor, you should start planning for it when you’re very young. I don’t just mean in terms of putting money aside, but in terms of what you’re going to do when you retire.”

He points to The Irish Sports Institute as an example of how things are improving.

“They’re working closely with elite athletes in Ireland to plan their lives outside of sport while they’re competing. And that may include working part-time to gain experience, or going to college part-time to gain a qualification.

“It’s all about planning beyond their career. It’s fair to say that today’s professional athletes are better prepared then ever before.”

• Sports Psychologist Canice Kennedy can be contacted via canicekennedy.com