Coronavirus: 'But Can I Still Have Sex?'

Everything is shutting down. We are being told to stay at home. And social distancing is mandatory. But here’s the thing: even in emergency times like these, our desire for sex doesn’t just evaporate.

In truth, it might just be one of the things we can do that’ll help us to make the best of a bad situation. Whether you are staying at home with your partner or by yourself, sex can be a great way to reduce anxiety and bring pleasure into social distancing.

Maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, a new position or game. Maybe it’s something you and your partner have talked about but never got around to doing. Maybe life got too busy and sex became something that was rushed rather than reveled in. Well, now could be the perfect opportunity to connect back in with each other sexually, to explore each other’s bodies fully, and discover turn-ons that you never knew existed.

If you are separated from the current love of your life, dirty talk, phone sex and sexting can all be used to bring you closer together. The feeling of intimacy and mutual pleasure can still be created, as you talk them through what you are doing to yourself or what you would want them to be doing to you. Also, dirty talk can be a great way of bringing up and discussing potential kinks that you want to try when normal life returns.

Taking the opportunity to role-play situations without the pressure of actually being in the same space as someone can inspire conversations about where you want your sex life to go. And once you get into dirty talk or phone sex, you can take it one step further, by exploring sex with yourself through masturbation and toys. Anything new that you discover can then be demonstrated to your partner.

Watching or hearing how someone pleasures themselves can be incredibly sexy – but it can also be a great way to learn more about your partner’s body and their orgasms. Spending time apart may be hard – but that doesn’t mean you can’t have sex or be intimate with each other.

As for my fellow singletons, I feel for you. If you keep hearing about how your friends are making the most of “Netflix and chilling” with their partners, then you might wonder why you had to be the one who ended up single. Well, masturbation is our friend too.

I’m not talking about a quickie before sleep: this time-out can be used to properly pleasure yourself. From self-massage to nipple play to toys, there are so many ways we can engage with our bodies. Shops like Sex Siopa are still operating online, so if you can afford to treat yourself to a new toy or lube, then why not support a local business and get yourself a little (or even a big) present?

I know it might seem like I am making light of a very serious situation. There isn’t one person I know who isn’t worried about what we are all facing into. There is a huge risk that our mental health will take a serious hit. From loneliness to depression to anxiety, this is a really scary time. I am not saying that sex can solve these issues, but sex and masturbation are proven to reduce anxiety and relieve stress.

So stay safe, look after yourselves. And remember: even in lockdown, sexual pleasure is still important.

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