Tour Diaries Special: Austin Translation

17/3 - Day of Sanctus Patricius
I wake to sweet sunshine and the glorious sight of a squirrel climbing the tree outside my hotel window. Our first show goes well. I eat a bagel as two girls ask me where I’m playing next. Of course, I can’t remember. In fact, show number two consisting of me playing four songs to a large group of drunken jocks disguised as leprechauns before leaving the stage with an overwhelming sense of dismay. Next up, the MFI showcase: six Irish bands displaying a diversity which beguiles the Texan crowd from start to finish.

18/3 - Day of the Ship
I wander in the general direction of my first session and interview at the festival. I play ‘Ship of Promises’ for the nice man and then he asks me about my music. As I answer, it dawns on me that I’ve recently been starting to compartmentalize questions and regurgitate answers to such a degree that it’s affecting my ability to separate truth from fiction. As interesting as he is, I feel a great relief as a I step outside into the sunshine and make my way to the cruise ship. Onboard, I eat a scone and have an afternoon chat with the guys from Dark Room Notes, The Minutes and The Coronas. The journey from ship to show is a hazy one, as is the show itself, which is graciously received by the handsome crowd. Meet a girl who let The Immediate sleep on her floor at SxSW ‘06. Good times. Treat myself to an Unthanks show (check them out) before retiring to the hotel with their voices spinning aroundin my head... ‘Here’s the tender coming…’

19/3 - Day of bodily functions
I lament my lack of chewing gum and underpants as I roll into BD Reilly’s for the 'Irish Breakfast' showcase. Do a few more interviews and manage to squeeze in some “Irish” breakfast (black beans and scrambled eggs) before playing the show. Skillfully mask a burp as I sing ‘Pieces’. Manage to catch approximately one minute of Halves and approximately 58 seconds of Autumn Owls before doing a quick wee and rushing to a little house on the outskirts where some Swedish men film me singing quietly, talking awkwardly and drawing blissfully in a sunny garden. Amazed at how well the interviewer knows the Villagers album. Slowly realise that a deflected question qualifies as an answer. Pose outside the house for the Hot Press diary before making my way to another session nearby for an American music blog called ‘Groupee’. Notice a pair of prosthetic testicles hanging from the car in front. Onto another session, this time for Pitchfork in a little stone-walled enclave at the back of a bar. Play ‘Home’ twice for the cameras as a little crowd gathers. They seem to dig it. End the night in a gaudy sports bar with some of the label guys. Do a fart in the taxi on the way back to the hotel (Yes Bernard, it was me).

20/3 - Day of the big freeze
Wake up to freezing temperatures. Totally bizarre considering the heat of the previous few days. Wrap up warm and head out to the Domino Garden Party which, unfortunately for today, is being held outdoors. Can’t feel my fingers as I try to get through a 20 minute set, singing to a crowd of unhappy looking shivering people, trying to make the most of it. My god it was cold. Check out a few more bands before heading to the Mojo magazine showcase in an ace little Johnny Cash-themed bar called the Mean-Eyed Cat. It’s a good show and afterwards I become a humble gibbering fanboy as members of the Unthanks introduce themselves to me and express their approval of my songs. Note to self: keep your head screwed on. Play my final show in the carpark of a little café beside a vintage clothes shop. A nice girl called Zoe lends me her green dungarees. Still freezing. Spend the night with the guys from Halves. We drink alcohol and sing Macy Gray songs. Yes we do. More stuff happens but I’m keeping that to myself.

21/3
Spend 20 hours getting from Austin to Edinburgh for the first leg of the Tindersticks tour. Finish typing this diary and sleeeep…