With her snappy version of The Weather Girls’ 80’s gay anthem, ‘It’s Raining Men’ heading for the No 1 spot, her decision to bail out of the Spice Girls before the rot set in looks like going down as one the shrewdest moves since George Michael ditched Andrew Ridgley.

Like Schizophonic, Halliwell’s aptly-named debut, Scream If You Want To Go Faster trawls through a variety of generic dance pop styles and vaguely Latino flavoured ballads, none distinctive enough to mark her out but maintaining a certain quality threshold. ‘Shake Your Bootie, Cutie’ written with New Radical Greg Alexander is like almost everything else he writes – catchy, insistent but ultimately

disposable. The Euro-disco ‘Feels Like Sex’ is remarkably similar to the aforementioned George Michael’s ‘I Want Your Sex’ in feel and arrangement, ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’ is as familiar as an old Nolan Sisters record while ‘Love Is The Only Light’ harks back to those old Spice Girls ballads like ‘Mama’

The presumably autobiographical, and heavily techno-fied ‘Heaven And Hell (To Be Geri Halliwell)’ has some great lines e.g. “Have a drink -alcoholic/grab your coat – shopaholic/ have a bite – anorexic/intelligent – I’m dyslexic.” ’Lovey Dovey Stuff’ is Ace of Bass style cod-reggae and only the indie-sounding ‘Circles Round The Moon’ with its LA’s ‘There She Goes’ jangly styling provides some respite from the derivative pop fluff that characterises this inconsequential record.

Scream? I certainly did but sadly it didn’t go any faster!