Oh, The Divorces

It’s a tale of two divorces and an ocean of heartache. Eleven years ago, Alela Diane came home from college to discover her parents’ marriage was over. Stunned, her response was to pick up a guitar and become a songwriter. In 2012, her career and her life took on a terrible symmetry when it dawned on her that her latest batch of tunes were a foreshadowing of the end of her own marriage. She finished the songs, filed for divorce and now here she is, still taking it all in. As if that wasn’t complicated enough, she has a new partner and is pregnant. She’s remarkably calm for a person whose world has tilted on its axis so spectacularly.

“It’s almost as if the songs were messengers,” says the singer discussing her wrenching new LP About Farewell. “I wrote them and listened back and was shocked by the honesty. It was like I was telling myself how I felt. It was a heavy realisation. And it occurred to me that I would never be able to sing these songs unless I followed through on what I’m saying in them.”
Shortly afterwards Diane, a confessional strummer based in Portland, Oregan, separated from her husband Tom Bevitori. She was never in any doubt that releasing About Farewell was the right thing to do and speaks frankly about the subjects it addresses. Artists are often reluctant to admit that they’ve authored a ‘break-up’ LP. The straight talking type, Diane doesn’t see the point in pretending otherwise. She’s as honest in conversation as on record.
“I’d be a liar if I said it was about anything else,” she concedes. “It very much is a break-up album. At the same time, it’s a retrospective of the past ten years of my life. Not all the songs are directly about what happened with my divorce. They’re also reflections on other situations. When a heavy thing befalls you, it forces you to reflect on other situations in your life.”
She understood from the outset that the songs would make for uncomfortable listening for her ex- and for her family (Bevitori and her father remain on good terms). Still, she knows that, as an artist, it is her job to push past such trivialities and speak to a higher truth. Perhaps art should make you feel uncomfortable, from time to time.
“Often the music that comes across the strongest is the most blatant and honest. And besides, once other people listen to the songs they are going to attach their own stories to the material. So it won’t be about me any more. The audience will take from it what they will. Of course, it’s going to be difficult for my parents and for my ex-husband to hear it. They’re going to find it intense. However, they are in a minority. I felt I should put it out there, get over myself a little.”
She played the album for her ex-. With tears in his eyes, he said he was proud of her and wished her the best.
“We’re at a point where we remain friends,” she says. “I know that is rare. It’s okay now. Forgiveness has been had. That said, I’m sure he’s not going to sit around listening to it casually.”
After divorce papers were served and the horrible process was underway, she was vividly reminded of her own parents’ separation and how it shaped her artistically.
“Nineteen was a very intense time for me,” Alela recalls. “It was a crossroads in my life. I was at my first year in college. I had moved out of home. I was living on campus and suddenly my parents were divorcing and had sold the house I grew up in. Really, there was this big wreckage in my family. It came as a complete shock. That was what ignited my songwriting in the first place. And now, we come to my own divorce.
It’s strange.”
Still, there’s a happy ending of sorts. Diane is now engaged and expecting her first child. Asked how motherhood will affect her career, she shrugs. Honestly, she can’t begin to answer. She will keep writing songs, for sure. Beyond that – who can say?
“I have no idea,” she laughs. “I’ve never had a child before. It’s one of those play it by ear situations. We’ll see. It’s not as if I’m retiring or anything.”